Wednesday, March 28, 2012

choosing Christian's happiness, saving the dog, cancelling our wedding and God showing off.

they say when you're a parent, you will do anything to make sure that your child feels loved, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. this weekend, that saying was put to the test. john and i had to make a choice between making our son happy and saving our dog or giving the dog up so we could fly to LA to have our wedding celebration with family & friends. we chose to cancel our wedding and prioritized our son more than anyone else. what happened next is nothing short of a miracle. but first, the timeline of events that led to the miracle.

timeline of events:
10:00 pm 3/25 sunday night - we came home from a seminar, walked the dog and saw his eye was bleeding (not just inflamed red, but bleeding onto his fur) we decided at once to take him to the vet. the vet said we had to take his eye out or it would rupture and bambam would eventually die. i scrambled to see how much extra money i had. christian gave $143 of his savings. we came up with a total. it wasn't even close to what was needed. the cost of his eye-removal operation was $2000. we didn't have that money. we just went through a process of using a chunk of our savings for john to adopt christian legally as his own son and that is why our budget was down to zilch for the wedding. we opted to have john adopt christian rather than have a big wedding.

i looked at john and cried. $2000 was our budget for our LA trip this summer. We had planned to spend our first 2.5 weeks out there to meet with ministry partners and raise support and our last week was to prepare and celebrate our intimate wedding with our family and a few close friends. our budget for our wedding was only $1000 (yes, it's a really small wedding). The other $1000 was for our expenses to rent a car and feed 3 people while we were out in LA. things looked bleak but we decided to sleep on it before we made a firm decision.

9:00 am 3/26 monday morning - i was sitting in john's office while he rehearsed songs with his students. i received calls & text from family and friends sharing their heart, concerns, opinions and ideas. in the midst of all the noise and advice, the one voice that was louder than anyone else was my son's wail when i told him we were considering the option of putting the dog to sleep (and/or adoption). he has prayed for and waited for this dog for a long time and that news broke his heart. i was caught between a rock and a hard place and i didn't know what to do.

i could hear dave ramsey in my head say "if you live like no one else, later on you can live like no one else." so i decided to live like no one else at that moment. when my husband came into his office, i told him my mind was set. we either had to choose the dog or choose the wedding. we couldn't do both. it would be too much on our shoulders to do both and go into debt.

he said that as much as he loved the thought of having the LA wedding, he couldn't bear to cause pain to our son. he knew how much an adolescent kid (who just moved to a new place) needed his constant best friend. plus, we took bambam as part of our family and it was our responsibility to take care of him, because that's what a family does. i agreed with him and we made a decision. we were going to cancel our wedding. 

for the next 24 hours, 
i pretty much cried my eyes out. 

we decided to wait before we told our family... i tried to tell myself "stop being selfish, you already had a small wedding here in hawaii...you don't need to celebrate with your family." but the more i told myself that...the more it hurt me. why would God not allow me to spend a joyous occasion with people who i love the most? i told john "don't cancel the plane tickets just yet, let's give God ONE WEEK to come through. if He wants us to go, He will provide. if He doesn't then He will give me peace in my heart".

9:00 - 11:00 am 3/27 tuesday morning  -  i told & emailed my family, my bridesmaids and a few close friends that the wedding was canceled. i explained to them the reason why we came to that decision and apologized to those who had booked tickets in advance. john hadn't even had the chance to explain to his family what happened since he was prepping for a school concert that he had today.

12:00-3:00pm tuesday afternoon - phone calls and texts and chat messages flooded in - to console, to give opinion, to comfort and to encourage. seriously, i don't know what i'd do without the covenant relationships that God has given to me.

3:16 pm tuesday afternoon - a couple of my friends, (let's call them angels) called me to ask what happened.  i explained. i cried. i explained some more. and then angels said... "We decided that we're gonna give you the $2000 you need so you can have your wedding here in LA with your family and friends" or something to that effect. i really didn't hear half of what was said, coz i fell into shock. 

and 
then 
started
to 
cry (again). 

this time it was because my heart was happy and not because of sadness. and i said thank you several times to my angels. i probably sounded like a broken machine. we put the phone down and i sat there and cried some more. 

i told my husband let's give God a week. God pretty much showed off how superbly awesome He really is. Maybe God was thinking: "a week!?!?? you gave me a week?!?!!? and to think...you call yourself my favorite....what about Me performing a miracle in a day?!?!?!"

after the sobfest... i could hear a whisper in my heart as He began to minister to me. as a mom, i wanted nothing more than to give my son good gifts to make him smile, even giving up my own happiness in order to make my child happy .... well what more the desire of our Daddy in heaven? He was willing to do everything for His children, giving Himself up on the cross to die for us. And as if that wasn't enough, He wants to give His children His heavenly treasures so we can proclaim His glory here on earth." (Luke 11:11-13)

this wedding will be nothing short of a miraculous testimony of God's goodness. our union is a miracle within itself. a testimony that God loves and God cares and God sees every detail of our lives. and even though there are years when you sow and you sow and it seems like drought is all around, when the season of harvest comes, it sure does come in abundance - pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be poured into your lap, just like He promised. (luke 6:38)

to my angels - you know who you are. THANK YOU. thank you for being obedient. thank you for stepping out in faith. thank you for allowing me and my husband the chance to celebrate a wedding with our family in los angeles. we are extremely grateful. and we pray God blesses you with amazingness. ;)

to God - you ROCK my socks! you love 'em all...but i guess i really am your favorite. thank you for this new season. i serve a Majestic King.

to my family - God knew how much my heart needed time with you. it's celebration time =D 

by the way...here's a picture of bambam and christian. the best friends are together again.