Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My best friend for 30 years finally met my best friend for life :)

They are finally here :) my sister and my nephew came in today. My heart has been bursting with excitement counting down the days & hours till they came... And when they did i was so happy. And christie, well she cried when she saw my son. And when i saw my nephew, I could not let him go.

For the first time in 6 months I felt like my present and my past mixed in together and it's such a good place to be at. No, it's not just a good place to be at, it's a wonderful place for my heart to be. God knows how much I needed this. And I have a week to enjoy this feeling.

My sister met my husband for the first time. My best friend for 30 years has finally met my best friend for life. I also met my nephew for the first time. It's a lot of first times. But it's also a lot of familiarity. My sister only needs to take one look at me and my heart just began pouring out about everything that God has done in the past 6 months...I mean, she knows what's been going on in my life, but it's different when things are said face to face. And it feels wonderful to be able to talk to someone without having to explain who you are, how you think, how you used to be, how your mind works, who you were in the past. She's known me all her life, so there really isn't much to hide. The first 12 hours of her being here has refreshed me so much already! And the sunset wasn't so bad today either! :) All in all it was a very good day!

My heart loves being surrounded by people who I can be me with. I can be crazy and vulnerable and real with them and they have earned my respect and trust for them to speak into my life & correct me if they have to. I think that's what i miss most since i moved out here, coz im still trying to get to know and meet new people.

This is why im so very thankful God knew He had to bring me a best friend for life instantaneously.... Coz He knows how much I absolutely needed to be known by another person, especially in the vulnerable areas of my heart. It would have been very hard these past 6 months to carry all the thoughts and ideas and fears in my head alone. My heart is so thankful I have a husband to lead me, guide me an support me, but also challenge me to help me grow.

But having my sister here and reading this Word made me realize that even though I have covering and friends who know me and pray for me in LA & i have a couple of friends who know my heart well here, I desperately need more friends here in Hawaii. Not just friends, but i need more mentors and other women to grow with who are also in ministry. I know its only been 6 months & its quite impossible to be able to build friendships this fast... but I know in order for me to survive in the long run, this extroverted heart has to find like-hearted people in this island who can walk with me, guide me, mentor me, challenge me and grow me. i love my church & the people in it, but with a church of only 30 people, our resources can only do so much to help grow me as a minister of God's Word.

Building with others out side of my natural environment means taking a risk of putting my heart out there. taking that risk means i have a 50% of being hurt by others.... But it also means that if I take that risk, I have a 50% chance to build quality friendships (especially friendships with other god-fearing women) that will help me grow in this next season of my life....

It's time to risk those chances. It's time to spread my wings and fly.