Monday, August 29, 2011

favorite spot.

i have found my favorite spot. in every house and home i've moved to....i always find a spot that i like the most and i make that my favorite spot. i've only been here for 3 weeks and i already know that this spot is it. 

i even got in touch with my inner green thumb and took my chance to plant succulents. i hope that the fact that it drizzles here constantly will help these plants to live (coz my plants usually die on me). 

so yeah...this is my favorite spot. i sit here in the darkness sometimes and wait for the dawn to come. i love seeing the sun slowly shine and bring life to a darkened sky. or i'll sit here during dusk as the sun tries to kiss the sky one more time before it sets and it leaves the sky blushing with tones of orange and red and pink.

or sometimes (especially on nights like tonight), i'll sit here in the dark...and enjoy the sound of the pitter patter of the raindrops as it falls on the roof while i drink my tea and pray or contemplate about nothingness and/or everythingness. 

the covered patio creates a wind tunnel so there's always wind that's gently blowing and touching my face. and most of the time, unless i call attention to one really sees me sit here. i like the idea that i have a favorite spot to be alone with God. i need to invest in a hammock....or maybe a super loungy rocking chair. that will make this spot even better.

i've realized that even if i'm an uber-extrovert...the inner introvert in me is slowly making it's way out. i actually crave and love these alone times. oh my gosh...i think im getting old. =( im no fun anymore! ugh.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

outside looking in and longing to be known.

right now, everything around me is new. new relationships are being built. new locations are being explored. new words are being learned. there are new faces to know. new expressions to be studied. new attitudes to overcome. new quirks to try and understand.

everything is new.

i remember this feeling all too well.... when i was younger, our family constantly moved. we migrated from the philippines to san francisco then back to manila and back to LA again in a span of 15 years. and now i get to re-live it all over again (minus sisters who know you the most). except now, im surrounded by unfamiliarity.

it kinda gets awkward sometimes when you're in a place where everyone else around you knows each other really well and you and your son are the ones who are on the "outside" looking in. don't get me wrong, everyone here has been really sweet and welcoming and i love the hearts of the people that God has surrounded me with. i network with people easily because im a super extroverted social butterfly so it's not hard for me to make friends, but even with that uncanny ability, my heart still realizes how much everything is unfamiliar.

treading into a new territory can often be intimidating and sometimes tiring, just because you really don't know how to "be" just yet. and sometimes your heart longs for the familiar and the known coz there is comfort there.

you try to look for the face of the person that knows you so well that they know how to read your face, your expressions and the meaning behind your tone of voice, but it's not there and you're left with an inside joke with no one to laugh or share it with. 

i've realized that the only way that the unfamiliar will become familiar is through time plus how much one decides to let others in. and i know given more time, my extroverted heart will find a home within the people here and i wont be on the outside looking in anymore. but right now, i'm peeking through windows and im learning to embrace this feeling. 

im guessing this is part of the feeling of being a missionary. or maybe this is something new that God is doing inside of me. i've never, ever felt this way before so this is extremely new to me. i've always been surrounded by people who "know me" so this is the first time my heart has ever felt this kind of emotion. some people might call this feeling being lonely. i call it longing to be known.

im thankful though, that even in the midst of this, the One who knows me the most is always with me wherever i go. my Maker is my Best Friend and i can rest knowing that my heart is safe in His hands.

Friday, August 26, 2011


Friday, Food, Friends and a lil bit of moscato

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

finding 'home' in happiest place in the US.

today marks the 2nd week that we have been here in hawaii. this past month has been a crazy whirlwhind adventure or sorts and today was the only day i actually was able to find the time to just "be" in front of the computer. i miss writing my heart out like this.

to those of you that care to know, hawaii has been treating me and my son really well. though leaving family was hard for us, it wasn't hard to transition our hearts to begin to call hawaii home. it's as if God has supernatually taken our hearts and grafted it into the hearts of the people and the church automatically. that is nothing short of His grace, because we all know that transitions are usually hard emotionally, especially the first few months of moving.

the people in the church welcomed us with open arms. some of them had worked so hard on the renovations to be able to get "home" ready for christian and i and for that we are so thankful. if you haven't already read on twitter or FB updates... i'll say it again here... this is actually the 1st time in 11 years that i am finally going to have my own room and my son has his own room too. HALLELU. i am seriously loving it!

the people here are so much nicer. seriously.  everyone hugs you when they meet you and they are always smiling. it's kinda akward when im meeting someone for the first time and i bust out my "LA-nice-to-meet-you-handshake" and they come to me with arms wide open and give me a big hug instead. it reminds me so much of the philippines...i guess it's coz almost everyone and their mom here is asian (or part asian). i didn't realize how much of LA has jaded me to become distant and kinda cold instead of being welcoming and friendly.

but the people here drive HELLA SLOW (i swear they drive like turtles). and they actually let other people pass in front of them and they even wave at each other when they do. WHERE DO THEY DO THAT AT?!? only in hawaii. LOL actually people here just don't drive hella slow... the life here is slow. it's almost like they move in their own pace. in LA everyone is always "on the go"... here people take the time to actually breathe. and hang out. and talk to other people.

also, everythaaaaang is expensive out here. f'realz. everytime i shop at target/walmart/kmart/grocery my eyes look like this O_o coz of the high prices of everything.  

they eat rice with almost everything and they love them some spam. they say "da kine" A LOT. the women here wear some big tattoos (not just tramp stamps i tell ya... they wear some sleeve tattoos or leg tattoos) the mixed kids are beautiful. almost everyone is brown here (so there goes my dreams to have blazian babies one day).

funny thing is...recent gallup survey says that hawaii is actually the happiest state in the US. (it's actually been the happiest state a few years in a row). i think it's so ironic that God would choose to move me out here. as if being a happy and crazy person in LA wasn't enough already... He wanted to make sure that my son and i would settle in a very happy place and call that place home. i swear i love being His favorite. 

my heart is truly happy indeed.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Sand, weddings & rain.

finally. :) sand on my toes and hanging out with friends. My day is made.

To top it off I spent this rainy night watching the wedding singer. :)

Loving this Sabbath day.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Milk is supposed to do a body good but with the price of milk per gallon here in Hawaii.... it's better to be lactose intolerant. Lol!!!

Ahhh...the price people pay to live in paradise.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pick up.

I haven't ridden in the back of a pick up truck in a really long time :) I swear Hawaii is just like the Philippines...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Last day.

Spent time with the family today. Right now I'm just loving on my dog @bambamroa coz I'm really gonna miss him.

So happy a couple of Christian's friends came by to say goodbye to him too.

Los Angeles... we're really gonna miss u.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Happy feet, happy heart.

Today I spent time with my family hiking Runyon canyon, getting a foot massage, having a date with my sister B at Starbucks and a date with my mom at IKEA. Happiness is seeing the 2012 IKEA catalog ;) and spending time with the fambam!

Then I went home and finished packing and hung out with my other sis C and her husband R. 

Its getting harder to write my thoughts and feelings about this move. Though I am very excited about moving, I know I am saying goodbye to a season of my life so my emotions are all over the place.

Im really gonna miss a lot of people here but im especially gonna my sisters. It breaks my heart when they hug me and they cry at the thought of not seeing me and their nephew. :/  *sigh* why can't we ALL just move to hawaii together ;)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Countdown: 8 days to Hawaii & forever friends.

8 days to go. Had no car today so I stayed home and packed the whole day. Well not really the whole day... I packed a few hours in the morning and when it got too hot in the garage, I went back inside and watched shark week and real housewives of new Jersey reruns. :)

When my sis came home from work we went out on a date to yogurtland. The line was ridiculously long coz apparently the cups were decorated with Hello Kitty / Sanrio characters. How fun!!! Ofcourse I got my taro with mochi. yum!

I love spending time with my baby sister C. She's been my best friend for 30 years (since she stole my thunder when she was born 30 years ago). She's the one person who knows me best. I think not having her around (as with my other sisters) is the thing that will make this hawaii trip a hard one in my heart (family wise). She is my friend forever.

Im so excited to see her become a mom!!! She's gonna be a great mommy to my nephew for sure!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Countdown: 9 more days - pizookies

I love me some pizookies from BJs. I know I'm gonna miss this for sure!

Thanks Carol for the pizzookie. Its always great hanging out with you! See you in a few months ;)