Monday, July 11, 2011

Countdown: 30 days to Hawaii (my erratic thoughts on moving)

Countdown begins - 30days till Hawaii. ONE MORE MONTH! Yiiiiikes!

My emotions are all over the place with this move. One minute im happy... the next im anxious. So i apologize before hand for the erratic emotions you will experience in my blog this next month!!!

My thoughts right now: why does moving have to be soooooo expensive?!?!?! And why does leaving relationships (family, frienda & church family) have to be so hard?!?! And why does moving to hawaii have to be so HELLA EXPENSIVE! (Oh wait I said that already)

Sometimes I stop and i ask myself "what the heck am I getting into? Why am I moving so far away again??" If this was a marriage then I swear I'm probably getting cold feet.... coz now when I think of how far I'm going and the fact that there's really no turning back now.... I get all choked up. I swear I have commitment issues. THIS IS WHY I AM SINGLE YA'LL. the thought of being tied down scares me. And that's exactly what is going to happen....I am going to be on a rock in the middle of the Pacific ocean.... married to the land and there is no turning back (until God says so anyway).

I know I shouldn't whine coz He is calling me to paradise in america and not some communist country or something. and I know I'm supposed to leave. There is no shadow of a doubt that I know I'm supposed to be in Hawaii... and that Im supposed to be part of the church that I am part of... and I am thankful for the spiritual family that I have there already....  but it doesn't make the process of leaving any easier... coz it is hard to leave loved ones behind no matter where you end up going.

I just need to woooosaaaah... breathe and selah it out. I have no idea what these next 30days will look like in regard to my emotions so good luck to me and to you who are taking the time to read this. It's gonna be a crazy ride!

To all you missionaries, overseas workers, military peeps and everyone else who has left your home / family to pursue your dream or have left loved ones to obey God's call...BIG Kudos to you. *hug*