Thursday, June 30, 2011

do you smeeeeeeeeell what the ROCK is cookin'???

busy. busy. busy. 

there is no other word that captures my life right now. i basically have about 6 weeks left to continue to meet with potential ministry supporters, pack, finish whatever else i need to do and end my season in LA beautifully before i move to hawaii and start a new chapter of my life there.

but i dont wanna let the busyness of all these activities deter me from this grace-filled season of my life. instead i am taking the time to smell grace, coz God is cooking something up and it smells some kinda wonderful.

everywhere i turn, i take the time smell God's grace. the grace of provision. the grace of relationships. the grace of joy. the grace of health. the grace of peace. the grace of His presence. the grace of His love. 

but it didn't used to smell that way. you see for years, my story has always been about chopping and pruning and slicing and dicing. onions when chopped alone, have enough potency to sting your eyes and make you cry. garlic smells terrible by itself, and sometimes the smell is so pungent, it makes you not wanna talk to a person who has garlic breath. i hate tomatoes and vegetables. and meat... if not cut and cooked properly...will make people sick! these ingredients, apart from each other, are usually NASTY and GROSS. but when put together, and cooked up in fire, they smell sooooooooooooooooo very good.

right now i can say im glad (and even very thankful) for the season of pruning and disciplining in my life. im thankful for the fire that God had brought me through...coz it's the same fire that pained me that's now causing those ingredients to bring out some FLAVOR! even though it hurt so much while i was going through the wilderness process, i can say (in hindsight), i see it now as a beautiful place that God had allowed me to go through in order to grow in His love and His grace.

in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life, im taking time to smell God's grace....coz whatever God is cooking up.... it sho smells delish and it's making me HUNGRY for more of Him.

dont let the busyness of life take you away from His miraculous grace. take time out and breathe. do you smeeeeeeeeeeeell what the ROCK is cookin' up for your life????

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

If u could have coffee with...

If you could have coffee conversation with any person alive right now and interview them.... who would you choose and why?

My answer: the pastor of the biggest underground church in China. (One underground church = hundreds of thousands of people and raising up disciples that are willing to die for the Gospel to be preached).

Imagine being able to bear THAT MUCH FRUIT for Christ and remaining so humble about it because you can't get any glory or spotlight coz if you do, you will get killed. Imagine having to have to memorize Scriptures in their head since they can't go around holding a Bible. Imagine every time they preach and hold a meeting... the adrenaline rush they get because they have no idea if they are going to get caught or not.

Imagine the wisdom and knowledge that he could impart to our generation and the next generation about faith and perserverance and not being afraid and not wanting the spotlight and the "name", but instead, be willing to work together and trust each and everyone else in the body for the life of each other and everyone in the church. Imagine having a heart to launch other leaders because you know you cannot do everything buy yourself and you need to multiply at a rapid rate because of the urgency of the matter of spreading the Gospel in fear of losing people's lives.

Imagine.... The wisdom i could glean and the impartation of boldness iwould get a glimpse of from one simple coffee  conversation.

If that pastor wasn't available I would totally choose to have a coffee conversation with Adam Sandler LOL! (and my other top 5 choices: Oprah, Mandela, Bono)

If you could interview anyone right now (even your top 5).... who would you choose?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

im not mean.


Friday, June 24, 2011

Walking on rainbows and dreams.

Choose to live out your dreams and your path will be full of colored surprises :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

no quitter.

Amen. :)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Crying while getting your hair did.

So my sister went to e doctor today and had an ultrasound done... And her and her husband found out what the sex of the baby was....

Im sitting here at the salon getting my hair did when I receive a text and she tells me If I'm having a niece or a nephew....

I read the text....tell my friend (who is practically like family to us co she's my other baby sisters best friend) and then I start CRYING!!!

It was tears of joy at first then I got all sad.... Coz I realized that I'm totally gonna be gone and I won't be here to watch my baby grow up!!!! I'm gonna miss the baby's first tooth, the first smile, the first step. Aaaaaack I feel like a wreck already. This is soooooooooo hard for me coz me and my sister are super duper close... Like that's not just lip service.... She is my best friend.... And she was there when Christian (my son) was growing up... So to miss seeing her baby grow is ripping my heart into pieces.

For the first time since I made the decision to move to Hawaii last April, I let my emotions go... And I'm so thankful berenz was there to pacify my heart.... She made me a great cup of latte too so that helped!

I'm glad I'm getting my hair done right now coz if not then I would be this big ball of emotional mess..... ladies and gentlemen.... check out my nephew....he is ALL BOY!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

soul food: slippin'.

"when i said my foot is slipping, your love O Lord supported me. when anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul" [psalm 94:18]

this scripture pretty much speaks for itself. i love how faithful God is, even when i slip or fall. when i disobey or become stubborn, His grace is there to meet me. His love for me goes beyond measure and it holds and supports me through good times and especially through hard times. 

when anxiety and worry and troubles rise up and paralyze my heart to have faith, His consolation and His Spirit brings joy to my soul. it's a joy that doesn't rely on circumstances and answered prayers. instead it's a joy that is based in the supernatural knowledge of my Father and how much He loves me.

His love is the reason why i choose to live. His love is what compels me to reach for His dream for me. His love is the reason why i tell others about Him. His love is the reason why i sing. whether it's in the spring season where everything is beautiful and life is everywhere; or in the winter season, where life is dark and buried and everything i see is covered with the coldness of snow.... songs of His glory will flow from my heart to my King, because His love keeps me from slippin'...and He sets me on a Rock instead

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

makes me wanna stay. [blog poll]

The one person who makes me want to stay in LA so bad...

The one person who makes me ask God 'why do i have move 2000+ miles away from home'...

The one person that im REALLY going to miss...

Is the one person I haven't even met yet.... But I already love him/her so very much. Siiiiigh.

Before i get too sentimental, let's make this fun and take a blog poll!!!  What do you think?!?! Am I gonna have a nephew or a niece? :) team boy or team girl? :) go.....

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Soul food: for nothing, in everything.

"Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer with Thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God & His peace will guard your hearts & minds through Christ" - Philippians 4:6-7

I know we're all familiar with this verse - Be anxious for NOTHING. It didnt say almost nothing... it says NOTHING.

not for finances.
not for health.
not for our loved ones.
not for our past.
not for our dreams.
not for our church.
not for our appearance.

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

You gotta admit tho.. this command is hard to follow. I think i break this command about a bajillion times a day... I'm like "God, this is hard to ask.... you seem to have designed the human brain to think and worry" LOL! How the heck do you turn off 'worry mode'!?!

After reading this verse...i realize the key to not being anxious for nothing is to turn my thoughts into prayers... and not just any kind of prayer.. but a prayer of thanksgiving for EVERYTHING. The only way to battle worry is to have a grateful and thankful heart. Coz the reality is.... as long as we have breath, there's always something to be thankful for.... it doesn't matter what we're all going through.

My prayer: God I pray everytime the enemy and circumstances hurl situations at me that might cause me to worry... I pray that I may be quick to fight back with a praise in my mouth. I pray that song of praise instead of clanging sounds of unbelief will be heard from me. Help me Holy Spirit, to recall God's faithfulness in the past when tough times come across. Please let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you my King. Amen.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

doing it scared.

so... i officially booked my flight.

let me tell you, i suddenly became scared s**tless after the confirmation email was sent to me. lol okay...maybe because im officially a "missionary" now, i shouldn't say that word, but seriously, there is no other way i can best describe how i feel.

i am so scared. [or skuuuurrrred as i like to say it]

i am moving 2000+ miles away from home.. leaving my family and my friends... to move in the middle of the pacific ocean. im moving to obey and follow God to be a missionary to the islands and be a part of a new family out there. [im glad God has provided a family out there already for me coz i probably wouldn't go if that wasn't the case.]

it's soooo scary. what if i don't raise enough support? what if i suck at being a missionary? what if there's a tsunami? what if something happens to my loved ones and im so far away? what if the church out there gets to know me and then hates me? what if i fail and im not called to be a pastor after all? what if my son hates it there and hates me for making this decision? 

what if... what if... what if...

there's a lot of "what ifs..." swirling through my brain right now... but i cannot let those "what if's" stop me from obeying what i know God has spoken in my heart and called me to do... coz it's either i obey, or i end up being like Jonah. and i fo sho' dont wanna get eaten by a whale...or worst...jaws. 

my one word for this year is BELIEVE. and im choosing to believe that God's got my back, even with the "what if's"...i need to believe that no matter what happens, God is going to take care of every detail. i need to believe that ultimately, provision comes from Him and no one else. i need to believe that His grace is sufficient for all things and in all things.

im clueless...coz i have no idea what the future holds for me there.. but i know that He has called and i must obey... so even if i'm terrified...i choose to do it scared... i booked my ticket and this august i'm stepping out of the boat (well the plane) and walking into the waters of my promise land. and i know i'll be walking (or teaching or swimming or preaching or surfing) hand in hand with my Maker every step of the way.

“Don’t be afraid; just believe.” - Mark 5:36

Saturday, June 4, 2011

it is well with my soul.

Food for my heart: hanging out with girl friends the whole day.

Food for my soul: bringing friends to receive encouragement and exhortation at Pasadena international house of prayer.

Soul for my food: Roscoe's chicken and waffle.

It is well with my soul.

soul food: share life.

"Exhort one another daily, while it is called today" Hebrews 3:14

I love receiving encouragement!! Who doesn't right?!?!?  Words of love and affirmation make my heart happy and give me hope when times are hard. Sometimes life is rough and though I get encouraged reading my Bible, it helps a lot when a fellow human being says soothing words that touch my heart. If we had our way, we would love to receive an encouraging word at least once daily.

So i thought...why not twist that need around and give encouragement to others instead. Instead of needing, i wanted to be giving. I desired to be that voice of love and hope to others. The Bible says encourage one another daily so i try to find one person a day to exhort. And its never failed, when i do that, i find that i am encouraged as well since im using my life to help make other people's lives better. Everytime I need encouragement, I go and encourage someone else and every time, I'm left with more hope and joy, not just for the other person but also for myself after the conversation.

What you sow, you reap... right?!?!

My prayer today is that God continues to use me to encourage people on a daily basis. This world is too full of negative people and circumstances already. I would rather choose to be the person that speaks life and love and joy into people's hearts. If I do, God is faithful to bring in ways to encourage me as well.

My prayer for you is that you choose to share life and be that source of hope for someone else today as well. Go put a smile on someone else's face today. If you do, I promise you, you'll end up with a smile on your face and a happy heart too :)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

daily soul food: do nothing.

John 15:5 "apart from me you can do NOTHING"

I woke up today with this verse in mind. I find myself starting almost all day rushing towards the hustle and bustle of life without spending ample time with Jesus and asking Him for His will to be done in my life and for the world.

This verse puts my mind back in perspective. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life, I lose focus. Instead of Jesus, my life becomes about me. I have the whole day planned.... and I just expect God to come and bless...

My plans.
My dreams.
My schedule.
My problems.
My finances.

I forget that it's really not about me and what i want. It's all about Him. Withouth Him, I can do nothing. Without Him, I am nothing.

I pray john's prayer over myself today and every day.... i pray that i may decrease that He may increase in my life. I pray that I always remember to make it all about Jesus. God forbid, i fall into the enticement of the spotlight syndrome, or the cares and worries of the world tie me down and i forget that apart from Him, all those things I've done are nothing.

But if i am soaked in His grace and His Spirit, He will be able to do all things through me. I must remember, im just a vessel. Without the Potter, clay is worthless.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

halfway through - believe.

woah...we're halfway through 2011 already. daaang, that was fast. it's time to do my mid-year self evaluation and see where the heck 2011 has taken me. 

my #oneword2011 was believe. had i known what this word entailed, i would have changed it to joy or prosperity or something.. coz this word kicked my spiritual tooshy and then some. it was like spiritual p90x for my soul coz my faith sure was worked out.
  • i believed that God would sustain me as i did a 21 day liquid fast in the beginning of the year. and He did and i'm still alive!!!
  • i believed that God would show me clear direction, whether or not i would stay in LA or move to the Philippines and He did! in fact, He is bringing me to a place that wasn't even part of my "option" in the first place.
  • i believed for finances for me.... my hours were cut at work at first and now my days are cut. i went from making $1300 a month to making $900 to now making $500 a month as a single mother.... yet im still very much alive and im still chubby which means im eating more than 3x a day. He is providing.
  • i believed for God to open doors of opportunity for me... and with that came this crazy offer to relocate to hawaii and become a missionary there.
  • i believed God for greater faith.... and now i am having to raise monthly missionary financial support so that i can move out to the islands and be provided for. talk about a faith building exercise. so far, so good, people are wanting to partner with what God is wanting to do in Hawaii.
  • i believed for years for me and my son to be able to have our own place... and when we move out to hawaii... our pastor has offered for us to rent a space in their house and my son and I will finally have our own rooms! for the 1st time since my son has been born! yes, after 11 years of praying!! God made it happen!
  • i believed God for a platform to be able to share what He's doing in my life... and i've never had more opportunities than i've had this year to teach His Word at my local church in LA and even speak at the church in Hawaii and share all the crazy things He's done in my life through twitter/fb/and this blog.
  • i believed God for healing for my family.... and this year we're going to have a new addition to our crazy clan. my sister and brother in law are expecting their first child. i believe this child will be a source of joy and healing for our family.

2 corinthians 4:13 says: i believed therefore i spoke.... my #oneword2011's got me going crazy (in a fun, adventurous way!). the countdown begins... i have around 2 months left here in LA before i move to the islands. two months to:
  • believe that i will raise above and beyond the monthly support we need in order for us to survive out in hawaii.
  • believe that i will raise the finances we need to fly us out there and ship all our things out.
  • believe that i will be able to spend as much time i can with my family and friends.
  • believe that i will be able to do everything i need to do (which is a lot) while in LA with much strength and grace.
  • believe that i will actually be able to afford to fly out of here by august so my son and i can have time to transition before the new school year starts.
i believe... therefore i speak... that all those things are possible.
i believe... therefore i speak... that the latter part of 2011 will be even greater than the 1st half of 2011.
i believe... therefore i speak... that God has great plans and wonderful surprises coming my way. 
i believe... therefore i have spoken & because i have spoken, He has listened & is moving in my behalf.

what are you believing for? what are you choosing to speak over your life? i'd love to stand with you in prayer and believe with you as well. keep speaking His truth over your life for He who promises is faithful.