Thursday, March 24, 2011

giving birth to dreams - it's time to push.

this blog has been void of meaningful words recently, not because i don't have anything to share or nothing good to say... in fact it's the extreme opposite of that. it almost feels like my heart has overflowed with extreme gratitude towards God and His people that i am at a loss for words... and if you know me, you know that's very rare ;) 

three years ago i wrote a post called "pregnant with dreams." i recently read my old posts again, and was left amazed at this beautiful and adventurous journey that God has and is brining me through. 

less than 2 months ago, i went on a a 21 day journey of dying to self  and so much has happened since then (in my previous post, i compared it to a roller coaster ride). i told God that if He really wanted me to go to hawaii, that He would have to open doors and provide coz He knows i surely can't afford it. and ofcourse, my Father made a way for it to happen.

God has blessed me with a ticket to fly out to hawaii to be able to get a free vacation and scout the land and check out the "possibilities". but i also have the opportunity to share my testimony at the church im visiting there. that thought alone has got me so elated. because im seeing my dreams unfold right before my very eyes.

a few years ago, these dreams seemed impossible to obtain and even so far-fetched to accomplish.  there were times when i thought i was just me making things up in my head. then there were the hard circumstances that happened along the way that caused me to question God's promises. i can so relate to the scripture that said "david strengthened himself in the Lord his God" [1sam30:6] because there were days when all i could do was worship God with tears and preached myself happy by speaking God's word over myself and my son.

despite all the pain and trials and years of waiting... He has proven Himself to be faithful time and time again. i had nothing to do with this trip to hawaii nor did i never see this coming. i really think it's God's way of showing off His miracle working powers to remind me and others around me that "all things are possible to those who believe[mark9:23]. it doesn't matter if circumstances aren't going your way. it doesn't matter how impossible things seem to be. it doesn't matter if everything you know is going against you and you feel like you're hard-pressed at every side. if God wills it... He will make a way for it to happen, sometimes it just takes time, but He will make it happen. 

just like pregnancy takes time and pain and discomfort in order to bring life to another person. i chose not to abort the dream and i will continue to choose to carry it out full term. the 9 months [yeeaars] of waiting and preparation for things to be formed in the inside of me is absolutely necessary in order for me to know when the proper time it will be to push this baby out.

i've been pregnant for a really long time... and now the waters have broken and He's telling me it's time to deliver. i know deliveries can get messy and hard and painful, but i also know that now is not the time to give up. in fact, its actually the time to find the proper position in order to give birth to the dream and share life and His love to other people.

my soul is screaming and pushing and giving it all it's got. let's do this God.

ofcourse i am going to hawaii armed and prepared ;) 
i got myself an el-cheapo underwater camera cover! yay!