Wednesday, February 2, 2011

my #oneword is kickin my booty.

i was trying to re-do my budget since my boss cut my work hours a couple of weeks ago. i have no clue how me and my son and my dog will survive making less than $1000 a month.

after i re-did my budget, i realized that i don't even have enough money for bills & grocery. my initial thought was to worry and stress. but then i was reminded of my #oneword - that i need to believe and fight off worry or stress. God is stretching my faith and asking me to believe, even if my circumstances isn't necessarily the easiest right now.

i've been here before. me and my son survived when I was making less money and we were sleeping on sleeping bags in friends' houses coz we couldn't afford a place to stay. so I'm pretty sure we'll be okay. my heart knows that, but my mind can't help but shift to worry overdrive. the greatest enemy of my #oneword is unbelief. i feel like those two words are warring it out in my heart and mind today.

the one thing i do know for sure is that God is Jehovah-Jireh. He is my Provider and He is faithful.

i also know that my #oneword2011 is kicking my a** and is putting my faith to the test. i should've chosen an easier word, like RICH or MONEY or LAVISH or OVERFLOW. ;)

my son knew i was stressin today, so he surprised me by making an 'i love you mom' sign with post-its. it put a big smile on my face and reminded me once again why i'm Jesus' favorite. despite hard times, i know I'm still extremely blessed. 

dear lack of funds, my God says He shall supply all my needs. so get thee behind me coz my Lord promises that all I've sown, I will reap pressed down, shaken together, running over my lap it will be given back to me.

"actually, i dont have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances.  i'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. i've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.  whatever i have, wherever i am, i can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." [Phil4:11-13]