Friday, February 18, 2011

desperate promises.

she made a promise to give her son's life to the Lord for all the days of his life. [1samuel1:11]  because she spoke a biblical promise over herself and her family.. God listened to her prayer and allowed her to have her hearts' desire.  she would finally be with child and give birth to a son.

im sure she reveled with the thought of  her miracle. imagine... something that she had been believing for and was praying for is finally coming to pass. she became pregnant. once she weaned her child and the time was right... she gave her child back to God and let him live in the temple his whole life. [1samuel 1:27-28]

so many times this has happened to me. i pray that God would do a miracle in my life. i make desperate promises during desperate times.... and even use His Word to speak things over me in order for Him to listen.

God please give me a job coz you are my Provider... so i can give to the church or to others more.
God please give me a new car so i can use it to serve you.
God please bless me and make me a great mother so i can disciple this next generation
God please give me a computer so i can write more about You and Your Word.
God please give me a ministry so i can share about You more. 
God please enlarge my territory, that you would bless me I can be of more use for You.
God please give me the gift of prophecy & intercession & leadership so i can use it to encourage others.

and because He is a compassionate God who cares for me and wants to lavish His love on me.... He listens and gives me the desires of my heart.

but unlike Hannah, im not quick to follow through with my promise. instead of giving it all back to Him... i find myself often holding on to the answers and not letting go. i find that i often neglect my promise.

He gave me a job but i've been so busy, i dont really have much time to serve like i used to.
He gave me a new car, but i haven't been able to drive much coz gas is expensive.
He gives me a chance to homeschool my child to be with him 24/7 and i lose patience because we're always together.
He gave me a computer a few years ago... and i used it more for twitter & FB than blogging.
He gave me a smallgroup & a platform to teach, yet i sometimes feel like it's not enough.
He has blessed me indeed and enlarged my  territory, and yet im constantly busy
He has allowed me to grow in the gift of prophecy & intercession & leadership yet there are times when i see it as a burden, because im already "busy" and too tired to spend time and labor in prayer and intercession.

He gives...and yet... im not faithful to give back and follow through with my promises.

i pray that i will be able to fulfill the promises i speak to Him during times of desperation and frustration. i pray that i will be like Hannah, and do what i said i would do... because if we are faithful to obey and work with the little He has given us... He promises to give us even more.

"when you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools, fulfill your vow. it is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. do not let your mouth lead you to sin. and ddo not protest "it was a mistake...much dreaming and many words are meaningless. therefor stand in awe of God"  [ecclesiastes 5:4-7]

"and the Lord was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters." [1samuel 2:21]