Thursday, January 13, 2011

bound.

i want to believe.
but it is so hard to.
i don't even know where to begin.
the door that i had thought opened, still remains closed.

i want to be free from fear. 
i long to be free from the chains that have bound up my heart for so long.
yet i stay here. 

stuck.
bound.
frozen.

there seems be to a comfort in being here.
a comfort in not believing. 
there is no need to venture my heart out into the unknown.
there is no room for disappointment.

yet You call me. 
deeper into your love you call me.
You are relentless.
because You refuse to leave my heart like this.

You long to heal. 
You long to soothe.
You long to fill me with the measure of Your love.
You long to make me whole.

still...
i sit here.

stuck.
bound.
frozen.

i want to surrender.
i do believe. 
please help me overcome my unbelief.

"A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years... she had suffered a great deail and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better, she grew worst...and she could find no cure." [mat 9:20; mark 5:25-28luke8:43]