Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 started in barrenness & ended up with fruitfulness. Believe #oneword2011

Started 2011 with 21 days of fasting, BELIEVING God for a breakthrough after years of tears... Ended 2011 with songs of joy in my heart - living in Hawaii, as a minister of His word and now I'm married to a wonderful man. God always gives us more than what we ask for if we just continue to BELIEVE. #oneword2011 Bring on 2012 - coz we only go from faith to faith, strength to strength and glory to glory.

Happy new year everyone!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

This is the day.

This is the day that the Lord has made...i will rejoice and be glad in it. this day has been written in my book of life, even before I came to be. This day has been in God's heart since the beginning of eternity.

Monday, December 26, 2011

The birds, the bees and the wrong hole.

A serious conversation this morning when I went to fiance's home. John is giving the kiddo the full birds & the bees "talk". as I walked into the room, the kid says to me with much disdain in his face: "you girls have 3 holes?!? You need to tell him if he goes into the wrong hole mom!!!".

Then after their whole convo, kiddo said it's interesting how God created us... He's pretty smart to create us that way.

What a wonderful way to start the day ;)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry and bright.

May your days be merry and bright (as bright as bambam's shining star)! ;)
Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Hello Xmas vacation.

Late night trip to the grocery store to buy Moose track ice cream = $6

Beautiful lights glowing from
the Xmas tree = borrowed from the M family.

watching tv/movies the whole night coz they have no need to get up early tomorrow = awesomeness.

Having to sleep in an empty home by myself coz my son & my dog are sleeping over the fiance's house = kinda sucky.

Seeing my 2 boys cuddle while watching = priceless.

Hello Christmas vacation. We missed u so! These next 2 weeks are gonna be FUN! (though it's kinda strange not having to wear layers of clothing for Xmas)

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! (Psalm 150:3 ESV)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

all things are possible indeed. #oneword2011

i moved here to hawaii to change the world. leaving family and friends behind, i packed my bags and took my son and my dog and decided to serve God here as a missionary to help a local church and bring a lil crazy flava' to the islands. as soon as i got here though, God decided it would be fun to turn my world completely upside down and He surprised me with a wonderful gift to heal my heart. 

my biggest fear in life was my fear of marriage. any one of my friends and those of you who've been reading my blog know how much that fear has gripped my heart. i would fly anywhere, write anything, talk to anyone for the gospel... but the one thing i never desired was to ever be in a place where my heart would be vulnerable in the hands of someone else.

i had to move 2500 miles away from home to realize how much my heart needed to learn to trust - in God and eventually in a man. i had to move 2500 miles away to realize how much my son needed a godly male role model in his life on a daily basis. so God brought along John, my friend, my homie, my neighbor (literally) to help bring healing to my heart.

his name means God is merciful and gracious / a gift from God. his name speaks of how my heart feels every time i think of how God orchestrated every little detail for us to be together. he waited 35 years for me to come along, living purely in the eyes of God, completely trusting in God that a wife would come along one day. he had people praying for him. i didn't desire marriage but i had people (literally my whole church & my family, relatives & friends) praying for me that i would one day change my heart.

and my heart was changed.
now i have a fiance.
and i'm getting married.

to say that is one of the greatest miracles of all time. (seriously). if you knew how stubborn i was and how much i hated the idea, you'd know how much of a miracle this was. but God is in the business of transforming lives and changing hearts. and im so glad He changed my heart.

i was reading through emails of prayers of people who cried for my heart to be healed.  i have emails of prophetic words that people have shared to me through out the years of how God spoke to their hearts to pray for my husband. i have emails and letters sent to me by powerful prayer warriors telling me that a marriage was gonna happen soon, even before i moved out to hawaii.

when the righteous pray... God moves heaven and earth for them.

our story is a testimony of how powerful prayers are and how God can truly turn things around in one day. i am so grateful that i get to spend this holiday season with my son and my dog and my fiance, doing what i love to do which is to be a minister and a missionary for God, while living in one of the most beautiful places in the world.  though my journey has been one of pain, tears and a lot of trials, my #oneword2011 journey to BELIEVE has proven that ALL THINGS are possible indeed for him or her who believes. [mk 9:23]

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

You don't write because you want to say write because you have something to say.

I got this gift in the mail today.

Definitely in tears right now. I'm so thankful for friends that remind you of the dreams in your heart and encourage you to go on and pursue them.

This gift came at the perfect time coz I had a terrible week before this. I lost my part time job (from which came a significant amount of money i needed to pay my bills since I'm here only on missionary support). Plus I got super sick on my birthday and my dog caught fleas which cost $200 to get rid off (which i had to take from my savings for Christmas money.)

After this weekend my heart was so discouraged and disheartened. And I was asking God to throw me a bone and give me something to encourage me of my dreams.

I love how God uses people and circumstances to bring encouragement at the perfect time.

This gift reminded me of the promises God was speaking to me as I was sick in bed resting on my birthday. He spoke tenderly promises to me that this coming year would be the beginning of a completely new season of my life. That all the years of tears that I've sown has watered the seeds and now a harvest is about to come (and has began to come already). And He had to bring me to a completely new place (where I don't know anybody) in order for me to see His great miracle working power to take my walk with Him to the next level and that only He could have the power to do these things.

I can't wait to write fresh revelations and promises for this coming season.

  • A new season as a missionary working for the kingdom of God in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
  • A new season as a soon-to-be wife of a great godly man.
  • A new season to have a new name and a new beginning.
  • A new season as God's minister who was given a mandate to proclaim His praise in the islands. (isaiah 42:12)
A new season awaits and by the end of next year these fresh pages will be filled of His promises and testimonies of His faithfulness and goodness.

"He has given me a new song to sing...a hymn of praise to God. many will see what He has done and be amazed and they will put their trust in the Lord." (psalm 40:3)

Thank you to my dear friend and sister Anna, for reminding me that I write because I have something to say... And I thank God for giving me the words to proclaim His praises and sing of His faithfulness all the days of my life.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

My face = exactly how I feel. Sucks to be me right now.

2 months ago I had an ear infection. I went to the beach and had a swimmers ear. The pain lasted a week and everything I heard was pretty much muffled. That sound lingered for 2 months. I was deaf in my right ear and had a hard time hearing. I had to drink antibiotic and put in ointments and do ear flushes and after 2 months of annoying began to feel better a couple of weeks ago...

Or so I thought.

Yesterday the ear infection came back with a damn vengeance. Today I am in so much pain that Tylenol isn't even doing anything for me anymore. My ear is swollen :( I have to put ice on my ear so it numbs out the external pain I feel coz of all the crap that's in my ear that's causing the infection.

An my ear chose to do this 2 days before I celebrate my birthday. :/ so i had to cancel my birthday dinner. Sucks to be me right now.

Please say a prayer for me if you can. I am believing for supernatural healing coz this single mama has no insurance and I can't afford to go to a specialist.

I know my God is a healer. I am trusting in His promise that He removes all my diseases (psalm 103)... Please stand in prayer with me and believe with me for healing.

Thank you.

Monday, November 28, 2011

I long to be this kind of tree.

The birds nested in its branches, and in its shade all the wild animals gave birth. All the great nations of the world lived in its shadow. It was strong & beautiful, with wide-spreading branches, for its roots went deep into abundant water. Ez31:6-7

I long to be this kind of tree. A shelter where people can run to, whose branches are long enough to embrace people who have their own stories to tell and be a safe place of rest. I long to have my roots run deep into abundant waters of God's love, so deep that it provides nourishment to everything around me. I long to be the kind of tree, where under the shade of my prayers and words, dreams are birthed and cared for and launched forth. I long to be the kind of tree that brings life to others around me and shares life to those who are parched. I long to be the kind of tree, where its mere presence will cause others to see and be in awe of God's miracle working power that was able to transform what was once a small seed of faith into something beautiful and majestic that boasts of His amazing grace. I long to be this kind of tree.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Sunday mornings and training the kids.

Life of a missionary. We do church set up and take down every sunday morning, since we're a mobile church and have no permanent place yet. (thats one thing you could be praying about please) Btw, the one thing i hate about set up & take down are those tables....They are soooo darn heavy it takes 2 people to carry em. Craziness.

Anywhoo, check out those kiddos in the pic. They're amazing kids! They help with carrying stuff, unloading the truck and setting up church (computers, projector, chairs) every Sunday. We're definitely training the next generation right ;)

Friday, November 25, 2011

My birthday gift for myself :)

All for $45. Gotta love black Friday deals :)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Be thankful always.

Wall of thanksgiving. So when things are rough, I will be reminded of things that are really important and everything I'm grateful for. Happy thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Joy in the smallest. #choosejoy

Sometimes joy can be found in the smallest of things.

Choose joy.

Monday, November 21, 2011

THIS never fails to make my heart smile.

Thankful for my family.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Breaking dawn.

Waiting in line for hours. Loading up on coffee and red bull and finally in the theater to watch breaking dawn. Yay!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

My beloved speaks to me.

My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone (Song of Solomon 2:10-11)

Monday, November 7, 2011

a boy and his best friend.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Be merry.

You have filled my heart with greater joy [psalm 4:7]

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

introducing the super powers.

The maximizer in me is über giddy. (it's my #2 theme). Introducing strength finders to the staff and church here. Can't wait to find out what the superpowers of each individual is and our collective strength as leaders in the church. :)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Meeting family & my first real date in 9 years. :)

saturday: met JC's grandparents, C & JC played a lil pool and watched dvds. then i went on a first real "non-chaperoned" date with someone I love for the first time in 9 years! ;) the night consisted of going to church to worship, eating a deelish dinner and walking around waikiki with all the crazy dressed up hooligans. my saturday = perfect

Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday night date night.

Date night with the lil man = mars needs moms, lotsa chocolate, panda express, cracker jacks, sour gummi words and lotsa hugs. :)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

my saturday night.

hanging out with my boys this Saturday night while studying the word. :) all is well in my heart. all that's missing is my dog...but that's changing in a couple of weeks coz he's flying out here soon :)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

It's the little things: laker flowers and then some.

flowers and a foot rub for me and a toy for my son. it's the little things he does that makes my heart smile =)
im all giddy. aaaand to think...i said i wanted to be single for the rest of my life. thank God for not taking my words seriously at times.

take note: the flowers are purple and gold. he says he hates the lakers but i think he's a low-key laker fan too. LOL ;)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

word study while they wii.

preparing for sunday's message while they play the wii.
there's no place else i'd rather be.

Monday, October 10, 2011

fighting giants, God setting the lonely in family & being lonely no more.

i can so relate to the israelites right now. after a long season of suffering in egypt and the years of breaking and character building in the wilderness, God had finally brought them into their promise land... and instead of rejoicing....what did they end up doing?!?! they wanted to retreat and go back to where they came from.

im sure they saw the fruits and the potential of the promise land.... but the giants in the land scared the living sh*t out of them. i know, just like Joshua, i'm facing my promise land at the moment. i know because that is what God whispered in my heart months even before i left LA. that i would be entering my promise land. and it would be a place of rest. but it would also be a place to conquer.

He wouldn't have called or provided for me to come out here if it wasn't His will. but even in the call and the provision, right now i'm scared sh*tless. i never thought my heart would feel this way. i thought seeing my dreams come to pass would be a good thing that would bring me satisfaction.... but 2 months into this transition and it has already brought about a lot of fears, tears and issues that i never thought i would have to face right away.

for the first 2 months, i wanted nothing more than to go back to Egypt or even the wilderness.... coz though the promise land has abundant fruit... it also has a lot of giants... and some of those giants come with the territory of being in Hawaii and some of those giants are my own personal demons and issues that i have to face. the issues are painful to carry and it's pretty overwhelming when the giants in my heart and giants of the land are teasing and taunting me right in front of my face. 

i don't wanna fight my giants. i don't wanna fight other people's giants. there are times when i just wanna curl up into a ball and cry. there are times when i just wanna go home to people who know me and love me the the most.... because here... i really don't know a lot of people and i have to completely trust in God to be my best friend.

but God has been completely faithful... because He knows i can't slay those giants alone. He has shown me that He has orchestrated everything so perfectly that even the church i came from and the church i now belong to, along with the people He has surrounded me with was divinely planned. all the people who choose to support and partner with this mission trip and now every person i've met here that He has brought into my life thus far are here for a specific reason and that they were brought about at the right time.

and though my family and closest friends are in LA, He is now calling me to build my home where i am right now. no more looking back at egypt. no more looking back in the wilderness. He has commanded me to fight the giants here little by little and call hawaii home. He has chosen to surround me with family. He has also chosen to set the lonely in a family, just like He did with ruth. and here in hawaii, my boaz has finally found me. i found family here. and i am lonely no more.  

"little by little I will drive your enemies out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land." - Exodus 23:30
a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families. (ps68:5-6)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

kiss my......

....sass. I want this shirt. :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

worth a thousand words

since they say that pictures are worth a thousand words... so im bringing back the pic posts...(most of them are the pics i post on twitter and instagram) just coz sometimes, there aren't any words to describe my i really miss posting my daily pics on here....

we likes to eat while dreaming BIG for the church.
some good filipino home cookin'. 
church staff lunch with P.Lloyd and JC. 

no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - aesop
must resolve to be kinder with my words and actions.

listening to "mr friend" worshiping God makes my heart smile.

my son finding his heart at home at the GB middle school service.
he was so excited when i picked him up, he was singing praise & worship songs out loud! =]

 watching reel steel.

Monday, October 3, 2011

allowing my heart to feel again.

i've been really homesick the past few days. my heart is so longing for the comfort of familiar faces and people who know me the most.... yet it wants to be here, in the middle of the new things that are happening....because right now, although a part of my heart is sad that im not in LA... a part of my heart is the happiest its been in a really, really long time. 

let's back track for a minute before i get into the nitty gritty of what God has been doing these past 7.5 weeks. (yes, i haven't even been here for 2 months...crazy huh?!?!) sorry for the long a** post. im playing catch up with the words and posts that have been void in this blog for 2 months. anywhoooo....

i left my family and friends in LA and moved to hawaii with an agenda. a timeline. a plan. i was going to come out to become a missionary here, help the church get back on its feet, reach out to the lost, the hurting and the crazies out here in Hawaii and maybe stay a year or two at the most...then move on to go out change the world. 

i was in love with the thought of reaching and changing the world for God. I was passionate about being used by God to make a difference in people's lives. all i wanted to do was love God and love people. and I was focused and I was determined to do it ALONE.

but God had other plans. He took my agenda, my timeline, my plans and broke them... and He decided that He would make me face my biggest fear ever... all in a span of less than 2 months since I moved here. 

God knew that He had to take me through the process of moving 2500 miles away from my closest family and friends to feel homesick because i thought i never needed anyone by my side. moving here caused me to be somewhat lonely. not somewhat. i actually felt really lonely. i felt like i was on the outside looking in. it was a kind of lonely that i never felt before.

and though i was excited about living my dream of doing ministry and helping the church... even that wasn't enough to satisfy the empty feeling i had in my heart. the reality of being homesick. the current situation at church and how hard it really is to be a missionary - to change culture and the mindset of people. that, alongside dealing with a child who is extremely homesick as well and is having a hard time finding his place here in hawaii. and having to be sensitive to how other people feel with certain personal issues going on has taken a toll on my heart... and my heart has been heavy. and alone. and behind the smiles and laughter i shared on the outside, my heart was screaming with sadness.

and now i understand why God had allowed that to happen.  it's because He wanted to get my attention. He wanted for me to understand the concept of learning to need someone... to be at a  place to teach myself to be vulnerable and scared. He wanted for me to see that i could not do it by myself.

so God decided to bring him along.
 i "met" him 6 years ago through email...but i didn't reply back. LOL
i never thought i'd meet him and real life, or even be my friend.
but God decided to play a funny joke on me.
it happened fast.
too fast for my comfort.
too fast for my liking
maybe even too fast for other's liking. 
but it's what i needed.

because He knows i would've probably packed up sooner than expected and went back home if the guy didn't come at that moment that he did. he wasn't part of my plan. he was the last thing i wanted. i was so determined on remaining single for the rest of my life. yet God thought otherwise. i resisted it, i cursed it, i ran away from it, i tried to hide. but the more i pushed it away, the more God allowed it to happen. it's almost like God has allowed him to see beyond the words that were being spoken, but instead understand my heart. and my heart is a very complicated thing. when he speaks and shares His prayers to me, it's as if God gives him access to my journal and my most private thoughts. and that freaked me out and it continues to freak me out. but that's how i know that this is God.

i thought having a "him" would bring butterflies and flowers and warm fuzzies, just like other people's stories. instead it has opened pandora's box. my own issues and fears are being dealt with. his own issues are being dealt with. my son's issues are being dealt with. there are other people's fears and issues being dealt with as well. a lot of issues. a lot of fears.

it has been a messy and extremely emotional 7.5 weeks, but even in the midst of the challenges and the messy, my heart has never felt this happy and content. i always have joy in God, but right now my heart is actually smiling. it's been about 9 years since i've allowed my heart to feel. i've forgotten how it actually feels like to allow someone into your thoughts. i've forgotten how it feel to let someone hold your hand or allow someone to buy simple things for you that make you smile. and now that the door has been opened, it feels like a part of my heart can actually believe again and live again.

i sat at the park today and i watched him hang out and play basketball with my son. and i couldn't help but smile and be giddy....i'm still scared. but i'd rather do it scared than live bound up in fear for the rest of my life. God has taken my biggest fear and has turned it around to be a source of overwhelming joy.  i don't know how this is going to turn out. i have no clue what God has in store... but at this present moment, i couldn't help but be thankful to Him for knowing better than i. coz in the middle of being really homesick and missing my loved ones,  im grateful that He brought someone along the way that could be a potentially be a life long whom heart can rest and be safe.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1John4:18

Saturday, October 1, 2011

It's all you need.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

On a date.

Chocolate moo'd with my favorite boy.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hiking. Prayer. Pillbox.

Monday, September 19, 2011

fear is louder.

the fear is louder than words.

the fear is louder and the silence on this page has been deafening.

the fear is louder in the midst of all the emotions my heart is feeling.

the fear is louder than the peace.

the fear is louder than the warm fuzzies and butterflies.

the fear is shouting louder than His promises.

the fear is louder than the voices and hearts that are trying to reach out and help.

the fear is louder than everything good that's been happening around me.

the fear is louder.

and i am paralyzed by it.

i feel so bound by it.

and i cannot seem to let it go.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Extra lovin'

The kiddo is sick today so he gets home made chicken soup & some extra loving. Say a prayer for him if you can. Thanks

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

God paints.

One of my personal favorite things to do to remind me of God's love is to look up at the sky each time the sun sets (or if I'm up early enough... when the sun rises).

As I'm looking, I imagine that God is painting the sky for me alone so I can appreciate and enjoy His work of art. His masterpiece in the sky varies day by day just so I have something new to look at. I seriously think I'm His favorite and have no qualms in my head about it. I realized it to be more true when He asked me to move here in the islands. 

The sunsets here in Hawaii are breathtakingly beautiful. the sky is filled with hues of orange and pink, yellow, blue, red and gray. Man, God sure does know how to show off and impress my heart coz each day I am enamored by His ability to make my heart smile with the littlest things.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

what do you want?

I said i long for my eyes to be opened to see.
See the beauty in the ashes of my bound up heart.
See the beauty of Your desire for me.
To trust fully and to be free.

You said "hold out your heart" so that I may begin to heal.
I looked at my heart, all bent up and deformed.
The heart that has been crippled by fear.
Bound by rejection. Toughened by circumstances.
Why would You want a heart like this, My God?

You've asked me to open the door that i've tried so hard to close.
You've asked me to tear down the walls i've built for myself.
You've asked me to trust this bleeding heart in Your Hands.
You've asked me to burst the bubble of self-protection that i have built.

Though i try to resist, Your love pulls me in.
Though i try to run away, Your voice lures my heart.
Like a magnet, I keep on coming back.
Deeper and deeper, as i rest in Your embrace.
In Your arms, I know my heart is safe.
In the shadow of your wings, I have found solace.

Every gentle Word You speak chips away at the walls i've tried so hard to build.
Every stroke of Your hand eases the muscles of my constricting heart.
Your smile alone has enough power for me to let go of the grasp.
the grasp on the door i've held on to for so long.

Take my whole heart God, it's completely Yours.
I am choosing to trust You, despite the unseen.
I am choosing to do it scared, even if im completely terrified.
I am choosing to believe, even when everything in me wants to doubt.
I am choosing to live free.
because i know it is for freedom that You came, so that i may be set free.

Friday, September 2, 2011


view full image
"Laundry ... Coz people in Hawaii still do actually hang their laundry outdoors #808update"

Monday, August 29, 2011

favorite spot.

i have found my favorite spot. in every house and home i've moved to....i always find a spot that i like the most and i make that my favorite spot. i've only been here for 3 weeks and i already know that this spot is it. 

i even got in touch with my inner green thumb and took my chance to plant succulents. i hope that the fact that it drizzles here constantly will help these plants to live (coz my plants usually die on me). 

so yeah...this is my favorite spot. i sit here in the darkness sometimes and wait for the dawn to come. i love seeing the sun slowly shine and bring life to a darkened sky. or i'll sit here during dusk as the sun tries to kiss the sky one more time before it sets and it leaves the sky blushing with tones of orange and red and pink.

or sometimes (especially on nights like tonight), i'll sit here in the dark...and enjoy the sound of the pitter patter of the raindrops as it falls on the roof while i drink my tea and pray or contemplate about nothingness and/or everythingness. 

the covered patio creates a wind tunnel so there's always wind that's gently blowing and touching my face. and most of the time, unless i call attention to one really sees me sit here. i like the idea that i have a favorite spot to be alone with God. i need to invest in a hammock....or maybe a super loungy rocking chair. that will make this spot even better.

i've realized that even if i'm an uber-extrovert...the inner introvert in me is slowly making it's way out. i actually crave and love these alone times. oh my gosh...i think im getting old. =( im no fun anymore! ugh.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

outside looking in and longing to be known.

right now, everything around me is new. new relationships are being built. new locations are being explored. new words are being learned. there are new faces to know. new expressions to be studied. new attitudes to overcome. new quirks to try and understand.

everything is new.

i remember this feeling all too well.... when i was younger, our family constantly moved. we migrated from the philippines to san francisco then back to manila and back to LA again in a span of 15 years. and now i get to re-live it all over again (minus sisters who know you the most). except now, im surrounded by unfamiliarity.

it kinda gets awkward sometimes when you're in a place where everyone else around you knows each other really well and you and your son are the ones who are on the "outside" looking in. don't get me wrong, everyone here has been really sweet and welcoming and i love the hearts of the people that God has surrounded me with. i network with people easily because im a super extroverted social butterfly so it's not hard for me to make friends, but even with that uncanny ability, my heart still realizes how much everything is unfamiliar.

treading into a new territory can often be intimidating and sometimes tiring, just because you really don't know how to "be" just yet. and sometimes your heart longs for the familiar and the known coz there is comfort there.

you try to look for the face of the person that knows you so well that they know how to read your face, your expressions and the meaning behind your tone of voice, but it's not there and you're left with an inside joke with no one to laugh or share it with. 

i've realized that the only way that the unfamiliar will become familiar is through time plus how much one decides to let others in. and i know given more time, my extroverted heart will find a home within the people here and i wont be on the outside looking in anymore. but right now, i'm peeking through windows and im learning to embrace this feeling. 

im guessing this is part of the feeling of being a missionary. or maybe this is something new that God is doing inside of me. i've never, ever felt this way before so this is extremely new to me. i've always been surrounded by people who "know me" so this is the first time my heart has ever felt this kind of emotion. some people might call this feeling being lonely. i call it longing to be known.

im thankful though, that even in the midst of this, the One who knows me the most is always with me wherever i go. my Maker is my Best Friend and i can rest knowing that my heart is safe in His hands.

Friday, August 26, 2011


Friday, Food, Friends and a lil bit of moscato

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

finding 'home' in happiest place in the US.

today marks the 2nd week that we have been here in hawaii. this past month has been a crazy whirlwhind adventure or sorts and today was the only day i actually was able to find the time to just "be" in front of the computer. i miss writing my heart out like this.

to those of you that care to know, hawaii has been treating me and my son really well. though leaving family was hard for us, it wasn't hard to transition our hearts to begin to call hawaii home. it's as if God has supernatually taken our hearts and grafted it into the hearts of the people and the church automatically. that is nothing short of His grace, because we all know that transitions are usually hard emotionally, especially the first few months of moving.

the people in the church welcomed us with open arms. some of them had worked so hard on the renovations to be able to get "home" ready for christian and i and for that we are so thankful. if you haven't already read on twitter or FB updates... i'll say it again here... this is actually the 1st time in 11 years that i am finally going to have my own room and my son has his own room too. HALLELU. i am seriously loving it!

the people here are so much nicer. seriously.  everyone hugs you when they meet you and they are always smiling. it's kinda akward when im meeting someone for the first time and i bust out my "LA-nice-to-meet-you-handshake" and they come to me with arms wide open and give me a big hug instead. it reminds me so much of the philippines...i guess it's coz almost everyone and their mom here is asian (or part asian). i didn't realize how much of LA has jaded me to become distant and kinda cold instead of being welcoming and friendly.

but the people here drive HELLA SLOW (i swear they drive like turtles). and they actually let other people pass in front of them and they even wave at each other when they do. WHERE DO THEY DO THAT AT?!? only in hawaii. LOL actually people here just don't drive hella slow... the life here is slow. it's almost like they move in their own pace. in LA everyone is always "on the go"... here people take the time to actually breathe. and hang out. and talk to other people.

also, everythaaaaang is expensive out here. f'realz. everytime i shop at target/walmart/kmart/grocery my eyes look like this O_o coz of the high prices of everything.  

they eat rice with almost everything and they love them some spam. they say "da kine" A LOT. the women here wear some big tattoos (not just tramp stamps i tell ya... they wear some sleeve tattoos or leg tattoos) the mixed kids are beautiful. almost everyone is brown here (so there goes my dreams to have blazian babies one day).

funny thing is...recent gallup survey says that hawaii is actually the happiest state in the US. (it's actually been the happiest state a few years in a row). i think it's so ironic that God would choose to move me out here. as if being a happy and crazy person in LA wasn't enough already... He wanted to make sure that my son and i would settle in a very happy place and call that place home. i swear i love being His favorite. 

my heart is truly happy indeed.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Sand, weddings & rain.

finally. :) sand on my toes and hanging out with friends. My day is made.

To top it off I spent this rainy night watching the wedding singer. :)

Loving this Sabbath day.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Milk is supposed to do a body good but with the price of milk per gallon here in Hawaii.... it's better to be lactose intolerant. Lol!!!

Ahhh...the price people pay to live in paradise.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pick up.

I haven't ridden in the back of a pick up truck in a really long time :) I swear Hawaii is just like the Philippines...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Last day.

Spent time with the family today. Right now I'm just loving on my dog @bambamroa coz I'm really gonna miss him.

So happy a couple of Christian's friends came by to say goodbye to him too.

Los Angeles... we're really gonna miss u.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Happy feet, happy heart.

Today I spent time with my family hiking Runyon canyon, getting a foot massage, having a date with my sister B at Starbucks and a date with my mom at IKEA. Happiness is seeing the 2012 IKEA catalog ;) and spending time with the fambam!

Then I went home and finished packing and hung out with my other sis C and her husband R. 

Its getting harder to write my thoughts and feelings about this move. Though I am very excited about moving, I know I am saying goodbye to a season of my life so my emotions are all over the place.

Im really gonna miss a lot of people here but im especially gonna my sisters. It breaks my heart when they hug me and they cry at the thought of not seeing me and their nephew. :/  *sigh* why can't we ALL just move to hawaii together ;)