Wednesday, September 1, 2010


i came across old pictures of me and my relatives and friends and i decided to post some of them on facebook.

one of the pictures that i posted was this:

if you can't tell...the one of the left is me.

the one with the cigarette.
the one with short hair.
i was probably 16 or 17. 
and at the height of my rebellion.
outside i was laughing.
but inside i was broken.
i had no idea if i wanted to be a man or a woman - so i was both.
i was utterly confused.
i was always drunk or high.
i had rage like incredible hulk.
my heart was so hard.
 it was incapable to love.
i didn't really care deeply about anything or anyone, even me.
i was extremely lost.

as i looked at the pic... i just marveled at how faithful God is to His promise that HE makes all things new. it has been about 13-14 years since this pic was taken... and though i wish i still had the same "weight" i had back then... i know that whoever that was on the pic is not me anymore. i know that my countenance is different. the way i think is different. the way i act is very different. though my personality is still quirky and zany and i still talk with my hands flailing in front of my face and  laugh out loud like it's nobody's business... i know that God has changed something to the very core of me that assures me that whoever that "pat" was... is not anymore.

no longer in rebellion.
i have found joy.
my identity is secure.
my heart is made whole.
and my destiny is sure.
my source of "high" is laughter and His Spirit.
i am no longer a slave to sin.
i live in peace instead of rage.
now i long to love and serve and give.
 i am no longer lost, but found.
and i belong to Him.

what a HUGE difference God can make
in a person who's life is fully surrendered to Him.

has there been a big difference in your life since you came to know Jesus?

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! [2Cor.5:17]