Saturday, July 31, 2010

twenty two.

im so glad that God gave you life on this earth.
and i was able to witness the time of your birth.
my sister who's smile never lets me down.
the one who looks at my teeth & desires to fix my crown.
you've taken my stuff without my permission.
sometimes i think that it's part of your life mission.
but i soon realized that's what baby sisters do.
coz now that's what kubie does to you.
you also love to give and love to share.
plenty of afflictions you've been able to bear.
i can't believe how fast time flew
and now you're turning twenty two.
i'm so blessed you're a part of my sisterhood crew.
and i want you to know how much i love you.

happy happy birthday to my baby sister B.

7.31.10 kid at heart.

my brother in law (who is 6'4) showing my son how tall people swing :)

breathe life [part 2]

they prayed and cried out for Him to come. if He had come four days earlier, their brother would not have died. but now it was too late. their brother was dead, wrapped in grave clothes and buried in the tomb. He came four days too late. by that time the sisters' hearts were broken and their hopes were crushed.

when martha heard that He had finally come, she ran to Him immediately and left Mary at home. im sure tears streamed down her face as she cried out to her Friend. she questioned Him saying:" "if only... if only you came sooner... if only you had been here." despite the pain and the heart break that she felt, she found the strength and faith to say to Him: "i know God will give you whatever you ask of Him... i have always believed You."

after spending some time with Jesus and finding comfort in His presence, she then proceeded to call her sister Mary. when Mary saw that He was there, she ran to Him and fell at His feet. no words could be said. she bowed down and poured out the brokenness of her heart by washing His feet with her tears. in the midst of the the tears, she found the strength to cry out loud and said: "if only ... if only ... if only you were here"

often times i hear people say: "count it all joy if you face trials", like you're supposed to be void of all human emotions while going through a time of heartbreak. yet this story shows us a beautiful example of the lessons of faith and worship that we can learn from mary and martha as they went through their season of unanswered prayers and dying dreams:

there's something about martha: many people speak of martha as the "servant sister", almost downgrading her to make it seem like she wasn't as much of a worshiper as her sister. but with the words she uttered, she proved that her heart was filled with so much faith and hope. she had the audacity to pour out her heart to her Friend and dared question Him because she knew that He could take it. Jesus can take our emotions. it's better to be honest and raw with Him rather than to pretend. share your questions and your heart to Him. martha also showed us that though her brother was dead and her prayers were not answered, she still took Him at His word and believed He could do the impossible, even if everything around her screamed and proved otherwise. she shows us the importance of living by faith and not by sight. if He says He is the resurrection and the life, our immediate response must be like that of Martha saying: "i believe." [john 11:17-27]

there's something about mary: she was so broken, that she didn't know what else to do but to cry at His feet. little did she know that this act of worship that she had given while she was in pain would be the very inspiration that would cause her to break her alabaster jar and be an example of what a fully-abandoned worshiper of Christ looks like. she learned the meaning of real worship through pain. sometimes the most touching worship we can offer to Christ is when we are going through severe trials and pain. there is something that happens in the crucible of life that allows our hearts to be broken to worship Him in such a passionate way. the way we worship while our prayers are unanswered or while we face pain will determine how we will choose to worship Him when He gives us our breakthrough. [john 11:28-32 & john 12:1-5]

one spoke of faith in the midst of her pain.
one cried and worshiped.
they both dared question their Lord.
it moved Him so that He couldn't help but ask
"where have you put him?"

no matter what's going on in your life, continue to worship Him with an abandoned heart and have hope to beleive. don't let painful circumstances cause you to get jaded. your heart cries are like incense that reach the heavens. He will not be able to help but be moved by you. your worship will cause Him to ask "where have you put your dream/your prayer?" [john 11:33-34]

allow Him to take you in a journey to visit the painful places of your heart: the grave of unanswered prayers and dead dreams. allow Him to remind you that "He is The Resurrection and He is The Life". in the process of facing the pain with Him, learn how to take Him at His Word and learn to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth... it could be the very pathway for you to be able to see and receive one of the greatest miracles of your life: the miracle of resurrection power.

Friday, July 30, 2010

7.30.10 scattergories

friday night = game night

Thursday, July 29, 2010

7.29.10 hopper.

this hopper was holding on for dear life...
but I'm glad he survived the rollercoaster ride around the block.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

7.28.10 rooftop.

rooftop view of downtown LA.

breathe life. [part 1]

there's something about the story of the death of lazarus that tugs and pulls on my heart strings.

Jesus so loved lazarus and mary and martha. and yet when they made a request for Him to come and answer their prayers, He chose to stay behind and not do anything. in fact, He waited till it got so bad that their prayer request had gone to the grave. im sure lazarus questioned Jesus on his deathbed, wondering where His beloved friend was. im sure he thought to himself "if he could heal other people with one word, all he has to do is speak it over me and i will be healed.... why isn't He here? i thought He loved me." mary and martha were also heart broken and im sure they were disappointed. they had called on Him, they were desperate for Him. they made sure that their cries were heard. but Jesus chose to "turn a deaf ear" for a season and didn't answer their prayers right away.

Jesus loved lazarus... and yet allowed Him to go through this pain.
Jesus chose to remain at a distance and let lazarus go through the process of death.
Jesus allowed for Mary and Martha to be disappointed for a season.
Jesus allowed for their hearts to be broken.

these past few years i have seen God work amazing miracles and answer prayers of mine in ways that that i never thought possible. but i have also seen "death" in some of the dreams and prayers i have prayed. the strange thing is... the ones that are "dead" right now are the ones i so desperately wish He would answer. they are the ones closest to my heart. though the disappointment of unanswered prayers don't hurt as bad as it used to, there are some days when the memories sting my heart and the pain becomes all too real once again.

and for the past few days,
the memories of unanswered prayers have stung my heart.

my initial reaction is to question His love for me. after all, if He loved me, why would He take this long to answer these requests (most of which are desires that i believe He has planted in my heart). why would He allow for me to believe for something to happen and wait for years to go by without a solid answer from Him?

but reading this story brings me back to my senses and reminds me that hard times will happen to EVERYONE, especially to those whom He loves. sometimes, the circumstances are almost even harder to bear because He promises He loves you and He proves this time and time again... and yet when you pray there is no answer. there is no instant miracle. and you are left behind with this ache in your heart as you are:


trying to keep the hope alive...
but sometimes it's too painful
and you feel your heart breaking.

you long to gasp for breath
reaching out to the only One who can breathe life into you.

you are desperately crying
and you need Him so badly
yet He is no where near to be found.

to be continued: breathe life [part 2]

Now a certain man named Lazarus was will. He was of Bethany, the village where Mary and her sister Martha lived. This Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with perfume and wiped His feet with her hair. It was her brother Lazarus who was [now] sick. 3
So the sisters sent to Him, saying, Lord, he whom You love [so well] is sick. 4When Jesus received the message, He said, This sickness is not to end in death; but [on the contrary] it is to honor God and to promote His glory, that the Son of God may be glorified through (by) it. 5Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. [They were His dear friends, and He held them in loving esteem.] 6Therefore [even] when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He still stayed two days longer in the same place where He was. 14So then Jesus told them plainly, Lazarus is dead, 15And for your sake I am glad that I was not there; it will help you to believe (to trust and rely on Me). However, let us go to him. [john 11:3-15 amp]

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

7.27.10 iWish.

"iWish i was a little bit taller...." - skeelo

the lyrics of this song rings true for me. i am only 5'1 and 3/4 (5'2 when i have thicker flip flops on - coz i hate wearing heels). on most days i do wish that i was a little bit taller... just coz long legs look soooo dang nice and sexy. and when you're taller, it's easier to buy jeans and you're not at other people's armpit level when they hug you. O_o

if there was one physical trait (body part) that you wish you could change about yourself... what would it be and why?

Monday, July 26, 2010

6 words.

Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave here and go to Judea, where your followers can see your miracles! You can’t become famous if you hide like this! If you can do such wonderful things, show yourself to the world! For even his brothers didn’t believe in him. Jesus replied, Now is not the right time for me to go, but you can go anytime. You go on. I’m not going to this festival, because my time has not yet come." [john 7:1-6]
i had posted this verse on my FB status and twitter last week and it has been stuck in my head ever since. there's something so profound about the statement that Jesus made that those 6 words have pierced my heart for the past few days.
 my time has not yet come. 
Jesus' brothers taunted Him to go and prove Himself to the world if He was indeed the Son of God. they told Him that He could be famous and well known if He displayed His power of performing miracles and teaching God's Word. 
His brothers wanted Him to prove His worth. they didn't really believe that He was Who He said He was and used this opportunity to challenge Him by enticing Him to the very things that usually make humans fall: POWER and FAME and WANTING to be accepted and PROVING others wrong.
i've found myself falling into that trap several times. wanting to perform. wanting for my words to be read. needing to be approved. wanting for my name to get out there. craving for attention. seeking for a breakthrough. secretly desiring the riches of this world, even if my words sound all biblical and "christian-y'. wanting for my time to come to have that house, preach in church, (buy that nice bag/bling/louboutin shoes, climb the corporate ladder, etc) and have God answer my prayers asap. i find that sometimes i desperately try to prove my worth as God's daughter by what i do and what i have.
i found that i had succumbed to the lies that the brothers taunted Jesus with. the voice of this generation, the taunts of society that says you must be well known in order to be successful. you must have a lot of "followers" because then it means that what you say has to be important.  you must be able to preach to thousands, have that house on the hill (or by the beach), start your own ministry. you must be able to perform to prove that you are who God has called you to be so you can live out the dream  he has put in your heart.
doing. working. proving.
leave it to Jesus to respond in a way that is so opposite of what us humans would do. He was so secure in who He was and He knew who He belonged to. He knew His call, His destiny and His purpose. He knew His Father's will. He didn't even need to prove Himself; not to the masses and especially not even to those that were closest to Him. in fact He rebuked His brothers and told them: chill out my brothers for "my time has not yet come."
with those 6 words, Jesus has been teaching me a lot about remaining secure in Him. with those 6 words, He has challenged me to reassess what i choose to identify myself with instead of Whom my identity comes from. with those 6 words, He reminds me that there is a season and a time for everything and there is a time of resting and hiding as well as a time of doing and performing. with those 6 words, He is teaching me that there is beauty and strength in being so secure in who God called you to be that there is no need to say anything or do anything to prove my worth... and right now He is teaching me to  just chill and just be.
with those 6 words He promises that one day...
my time will come.

and when the time does come....
it will have nothing to do with me.
instead, it will be all for my Father's glory.

7.26.10 405

Dear 405 freeway,
Your traffic sucks!
Sincerely Not Yours,

Sunday, July 25, 2010

7.25.10 slide.

Summer birthday parties are so much fun!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

7.24.10 ginormous

Swimming party for the lil man's 10th birthday.
check out this ginormous swimming pool!
at hansen dam, los angeles.

Friday, July 23, 2010

7.23.10 - still.

The bird sits before the rising Son and stretches out its wings 
to worship and adore its Creator.

"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord" - psalm 150:6

Thursday, July 22, 2010

7.22.10 mccafe.

Calories galore. Eeeek.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

7.21.10 gift.

He got his birthday gift :) #airsoft. 
I sooo want to try it! 
I want an airsoft gun too! ;)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

7.20.10 comfort food.

My favorite comfort food... Sinigang na sugpo.

top 10.

i've written several birthday letters for you these past few years. since you're celebrating the big 10 (woohoo double digits baby)...i decided to change it up a bit and list...

the top 10 reasons why i think you're the best son in the world 
and why i love you so much.

10. because you are a little ball of energy. (well you're not so little anymore). you exude so much life into every conversation and into every action that you do. though it may appear that i am often annoyed by your "energy/hyper-activity", you are teaching me to remain like a child at heart and never lose passion for living life.

9.  you are a very honest child. [sometimes too honest] ;) but i am glad you are. you're not afraid to tell me the good things and the bad things. and i am very thankful that you trust me the way that you do. and you're pretty GOOD at keeping our secrets. i love the "knowing looks" that we give to each other when we have secrets that others don't know about 

8. i love you so much because you know how it feels like to  have nothing and yet you have remained joyful. you know how it felt to be homeless, to not have a room or a place of our own. you've experienced sleeping on couches and floors and sleeping bags... you've experienced people breaking into our cars and stealing your toys, etc. etc. you've been through somethings that most kids and probably adults won't ever get to experience in their lifetime and yet you've remained so positive and so pure in heart. i so admire that about you.

7. you are so quick to forgive. there are many-a-days when i fail you. i shout. i get mad. i lose my temper over the stupidest things. and i say mean things sometimes. and yet in a split second, when i say sorry, you don't give me an attitude. you come and hug me right away and say you forgive me. you have also chosen to forgive the people that hurt you the most. and you try to see the best in everyone. i wish to be more forgiving, just like you.

6. i love your smile and how you laugh. your eyes disappear when you're deep in laughter. when i see you laugh, it puts a smile on my face and my heart. sometimes i wish i could capture our moments when we laugh together so i can watch and replay them forever. being silly and laughing with you brings me so much joy.

5. you love, love, love to learn new things and you love to build stuff. your ability to imagine and build and put things together amazes me. you're very dexterous  and you love to try to fix broken things and take pride in what you've done when you do fix them. i find it funny coz i'm so "whatever" and don't even bother trying to fix broken things. it's like you're my own lil' handy man.

4. you are highly competitive. that means that you will not give up. i like that about you (though we have to "curb" that competitive spirit in you a little bit). i'm actually very glad God made you that way, because it means that you will want to excel in most everything that you do. that's highly admirable coming from a mother who most of the time, does things haphazardly ;)

3. even if you're a big boy already, you still love to receive hugs. and kisses too ;) especially before you sleep. i know this is probably embarrassing you... but i'm glad you still like hugs.  coz you were (after all) the very first person who taught me how to hug and how to love =]

2. you KNOW that prayer works and you know who your Father is. in fact you've seen prayers answered in such tangible ways that will probably make other people jealous. you are a walking testimony of God's promise when He says He hears the cry of the fatherless... and he has heard your cries...with your dog, with your wii and ds(i), with sports, with 4 free cars, with a place to stay, for healing, for provision & so much more ..... as a child, you already know the beauty of patiently waiting for God to answer your prayer. you have been praying for siblings, for a dad, for your dad to get saved and build a relationship with you... and you have never become jaded just because things don't happen right away. instead you remind me that God is faithful... all we have to do is trust and wait.

1. i love you because you are you. and there's nobody else like you. God took the time to mold you and shape you inside of me. He decided to use me as a vessel to bring you to life.that is one of the greatest gifts that He has given me. He allowed a world changer like you to be formed in me. what an amazing favor from God.

so that's the top 10 of the million different reasons why i love you.
happy 10th birthday to my big boy!
 i cannot believe it's been a decade since i first held you in my arms.
 these past 10 years were the happiest years of my life. 
here's to lots and lots more "happyness". 
you have been my greatest inspiration, my greatest teacher.
 a source of joy, hope, life, energy and love. 
being your mother is the highest calling and greatest privilege 
that God has given me. 
thank you for being my angel.

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the LORD and with men 1 Samuel 2:26

Monday, July 19, 2010

7.19.10 late.

Summer means getting to stay up late play ninja warz 
and watch disney channel all night long :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

7.18.10 calling.

It's calling your name. Go ahead jump in :)

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. - Psalm 42:1

Saturday, July 17, 2010

7.17.10 buzzed.

"she (my crazy master)got me a buzz cut for the summer :( 
i feel so nekked and violated all the time now...
 i don't see her walking around with no clothes on..
i miss my hair"
- bambam

Friday, July 16, 2010

7.16.10 good morning.

My early morning view :)

Me & @Sh33ba up early walking our butts off..

My body is His temple. [ 1Cor 3:16]

Thursday, July 15, 2010

7.15.10 fluffy.

Marcus (my son's friend) and his bunny named fluffy :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

7.14.10 sleep.

one of my current favorite scents - "sleep" from bath and body works.
i spray it all over my pillows before I sleep.
 the smell relaxes me so. 
and I got it for cheap too... 
original price was $15 but I got it for $3 during B&BW annual sale :) 
*hooray for thriftiness*

"He grants sleep to those He loves" [psalm 127:2]

best friend.

i always say that you came too soon and stole my thunder...
coz you didn't even give me a long enough chance to be an only child.
but looking back now, i'm glad that you came as soon as you did.
coz it meant that i was going to be able to be best friends with you for so much longer.

today we celebrate 29 years of being friends. [and counting].
thanks for being my number #1 fan, my listening ear, my prayer covering.
my go-to-person, my shopper, my secret keeper,  my safe haven.
my best friend. my sister.

here's to more years of being "happy together".
happy birthday my dear sister. 

A sister smiles when one tells one's stories - for she knows where the decoration has been added. - Chris Montaigne

It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on! -Author Unknown

Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling. -Pam Brown

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

7.13.10 lunch.

Subway lunch value meal for $5.00 :)
 I love clipping coupons!

lies. lies. lies

introducing the father of lies. [john 8:44]

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. 
I came that they may have and enjoy life, 
and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." - Jesus
[john 10:10 amp]

instead open your heart to the Truth.

"i am The Way, The Truth, The Life." - Jesus [john 14:6]

check here for more info about the arrows band.

Monday, July 12, 2010

7.12.10 bodywash.

Bought this at ross for $3.

This is my favorite body wash right now. 

It smells like honey and and milk and almond heaven. :)

I love finding bargains and deals!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

7.11.10 dimsum love.

Dimsum love. 
Celebrating my sister's birthday by loading up on MSG :) 

Saturday, July 10, 2010

7.10.10 jump for joy.

jumping for joy.

"the water I give him will become in him a spring of water 
welling up to eternal life" john 4:14

Friday, July 9, 2010

7.9.10 grubbin.

2.5 cups of rice
3 pieces of longganisa
a bowl of monggo.
i'm so hella pinoy. *burp*

Thursday, July 8, 2010

7.8.10 build.

we must always choose to BUILD life together with others.

though it is often annoying and it hurts sometimes (since it involves being in a place where you choose not to be or to deal with people that annoy you), being part of a community / spiritual family is the best place to grow and find our God-given destiny.

we often neglect the importance of community, church and building a team of people around us who we can be accountable to..

but we have to remember that even Jesus had his inner core of friends / his posse of 12 / the disciples / then the crowd. He knew it was important to be able to build His Kingdom with others around Him and build relationship with others (even if they were going to betray Him)


it's a MUST for the kingdom of God.

don't choose to be a lone lego piece....coz a lone lego piece doesn't really make a lot of sense... it ends up being stepped on, getting pushed to the corner and more often that not, it finds its way in the trash [selah]. if you find yourself without a community / church family...i pray you'll be able to find a family to be able to build with soon... coz being part of a church family and a community makes all the joy and pain and tears and serving worth it... coz you get to build with others for the greater good of the Kingdom of God.

"one can chase a thousand but two can put ten thousand to flight". [Deut 32:20]

*lego piece done by Marcus Rapier