Sunday, April 11, 2010

4.11.10 victory.

i never thought i'd be able to see this sign/banner here in america.

im soooo glad i went to visit this church in the bay.

a song once said "I left my heart in san francisco..."

and this weekend i was able to find it.

my heart has had a gaping hole in it these past few months. in fact it's been like that this past year.

i felt like i was running without vision. and my legs were getting tired.

i felt like i was doing church...just to be there. like i was filling in a seat.

and the day in and day out of life seemed to make the hunger i had grow more and more.

instead of enjoying life...i was just living.

don't get me wrong... my relationship with God is the healthiest it's ever been.

i pray. i worship. i fast. i read my bible. i love my time with God. i lead my smallgroup. i serve the church.

but even in that...i know my heart was yearning for more. like what i do day in and day out is not enough.

it somehow feels like God has given me a hunger to reach the world.

coz as long as there are hurting people out there.... it means God's heart is still hurting. and that means i still have so much more to do.

and this weekend.... it's like i was injected with a double dose of vision and a double dose of faith.

this weekend i was reminded of my passion. what gets me worked up. what gets Jesus worked up.

a sucker punch in the gut that reminded me that my heart is to honor God. raise disciples of Jesus. and to think missionally (to every nation. every tribe. every tongue).

how apropo that i live in the melting pot of the world where the nations seem to gather from all over.... LOS ANGELES. this is my mission field. this is my city. and in the end i will give an account to God with what i've done to change and help with this mission field He's put me in.

  • im thankful for strangers who have told me that the dream that God has put in me is not impossible to reach.
  • im thankful for the pastors who reminded me once again what it's really all about.
  • im thankful for friends who see the gifts that God has put in me when others seem to choose to give me the blind eye.
  • im thankful for God's spoken word that has the power to fan into flame this passion that has already been burning in me.

"Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing and teaching them to obey the Father..."

this is so engrained in the core of my being. because this is what God has called me to do.

and it took this weekend for me to realize...God has already given me the GO signal.

so who's permission was i waiting for all along? i've been disillusioned. i thought i needed man's permission for me to go. but now i know better.

i've taken this long to get ready and be prepared. now i'm set and ready to go.

"i've got the Victory...and everything will be all right...coz im on the winning side"