Wednesday, December 16, 2009

i dont want to part 2.

yesterday, i wrote a blog trying to explain my thoughts about my choice &/or non-desire to NOT want to get married.

i got some comments on my facebook status after that... & somehow my point was completely misconstrued.

like i said, that blog post was not written because i am a bitter, single mom who hates on men. that isn't the point at all. i was talking about making a CHOICE. so many people choose to get married & want a husband. i feel like at this time of my life, i am choosing to not want to get married.

i know plenty of single moms who have chosen to devote their lives to raise their children without getting married (again). im sure the decision they made was not an easy decision. i have friends who have chosen to live like this... (again chosen is the key word). my friend's mom & my brother in law's mom both decided to not get married again. its a TOUGH choice to make. it means growing old alone... and i think i am fine with that. i dont understand why that comes as a shock to some people. yes, i know it means that i may never get to experience the good things that marriage brings.... like the support & help & love that a man offers. yes, i know that it means i may never have sex again either *gulp*.

i know these things... and yet i am still making this choice.

because this means that i get to devote all my attention to my son and to all the things that God has called me to do at this season without having marriage as a nagging desire at the back of my mind. it means that i still get to live out the lifestyle i've grown accustomed to for the past decade as being the "lone leader & nurturer" in my family. it is a HARDER route to choose.

now, if a person comes along & changes my mind completely, i will surely reconsider my options... though my mind is gonna be a tough one to crack. =P like i said, it would have to take GOd to completely change my thoughts about this. but if this is what He wants... i will obey Him.

=] friends who try to "change" my mind about this subject ... i just want you to know that your efforts are futile. if you try to tell me that there's "someone out there for me", it only proves my theory that people don't think it's not normal for women, especially a woman my age.... to not want to get married.

this is something that i've been thinking about for years now.... it's not something that i just suddenly came up with..... there is a deeper reason... a reason that justifies how i feel.