Tuesday, August 25, 2009

faith & geriatric sex - tick tock u don't stop.

WARNING: this blogpost is rated PG13. if you're under 13, close this window now before i find you and whoop yo' butt! =)

faith.
yes im still stuck on this subject & as i continued my study on the book of romans regarding faith... i got a "revelation" while reading chapter 4:19. i looked this verse up in several translations and when i saw this translation, i literally LOL'd. i know that God was clearly talking to me because only He can bring this picture up in my head and make it sound really holy instead of being disgusting: "Abraham didn't focus on his own impotence and say, "It's hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child." Nor did he survey Sarah's decades of infertility and give up." Romans 4:19 msg

abraham was impotent. sarah was waaaay old. and yet they didn't lose hope that God was going to bring about His promise. talk about AMAZING FAITH!! most of the time people just usually talk about faith & stop there when they read this. but let's dig a bit deeper and realize that acquiring the promise required for them to do "something" to obtain it... which meant only one thing....
they kept on having sex. YES! i said it... elderly sex. century old sex. LOL. *for baby making music click here* now before i get kicked out of the christian community for bringing this up, please hear what i have to say first.

is it just me...or do you ever find yourself wondering about that? i mean... abraham was OLD. sarah was OLD. and i dont care if u tell me that people during that time lived longer... 100 years old is still a century old! plus they had to do "it" a LOOOOONG time before they got their "breakthrough" in this area. i think that if they wanted to, they could probably write a book that would kick kama sutra off the shelves. *just sayin' ;) *

anyway.....

imagine with me if you will... what went on during their "waiting period".
imagine how they felt...imagine what they thought.

i WONDER a lot. im a curious person by nature...and when i read the bible that is how i typically think. i remind myself that these people were human just like me... & i often start to think "WWPD" (what would patricia do?) if she was in their situation... the beauty about this curiosity of mine is that more often than not God ministers to the questions in my head as i study His Word. and this is what i got out of it...
  • *QUESTION #1: i wonder if abraham or sarah just "did it" intentionally to try and get isaac (the promise) OR if they made love coz they really enjoyed being with each other (...and isaac was just a bonus of the relationship itself.)

    THOUGHTS: maybe abraham did have isaac at the back of his mind while they were doing the "deed"...i'll never know... but i personally think that Abraham loooooved Sarah very much and enjoyed his relationship with her that being with her was enough.... it fulfilled him. it really had nothing to do with isaac. he was willing for isaac to happen another way (he even asked God if his slave could be the heir to his throne)... you see, he could have chosen to leave sarah because she was barren but he didnt. i'm SURE he had a line of women who wanted to get in his pants... but still he remained with his wife. which means one thing... he loved her a lot & really enjoyed being with her even though she was barren.

    Which got me thinking... how many of us, His Bride, really enjoy the relationship we have with Him that His promises to us mean nothing as long as we have Him. how many of us are "with God" for just His promises, His blessings, so that He will fulfill our own desires and if He doesn't give it...we creep & cheat & do things our way? i mean what IF God chose to not answer our prayers...would we still love Him & desire to be with Him no matter what?

  • *QUESTION #2: i also wonder if abraham at some point in his life, wanted to stop having sex with his wife just coz he was tired of it. i mean imagine... he'd been going at it for yeaaars now and yet he had not seen any "fruit" at all - NO ISAAC.... NO BREAKTHROUGH... NO FULFILLED PROMISE. did he want to give up at some point?

    THOUGHTS: giving up was not an option for abraham obviously. he may have gotten sidetracked (hagar) ...but he did not give up! he continued to have faith and he continued to "do" the things he was supposed to do, even if it seemed like nothing was happening! on really bad days, thoughts creep up in my head about wanting to give up hope for God's promises in my life. sometimes i get to tempted to take shortcuts (like Abe did with hagar) & sometimes i want to just forget about it & pretend the promises never existed.... and yet i DONT & i WONT. because i know that these promises are so real to me that i can envision them happening just like abraham envisioned the stars in the sky & the sand in the seashore. i know deep in my heart giving up is not an option for me either... so i continue to do what is necessary & believe that God will open doors for miracles to happen as i am faithful with doing the everyday things.

  • *QUESTION #3: i wonder how he felt. i wonder how she felt. to know that you are barren... to know that you are impotent...to KNOW that your situation looks impossible but to consider all that null & void because you choose to believe a God who says the impossible will happen.

    THOUGHTS: abraham grasped the reality & facts about himself, his wife & his present circumstances and yet he chose not to let emotions rule over him and instead he lived by
    faith & not by sight. because of that he received his promise. you see, i think that its actually good that God puts us in the midst of impossible situations from time to time... and the reason why is coz it humbles us and teaches us that we are really NOTHING without Him. and it's not that He's a megalomaniac either... its just because He loves us & Hewants to save us from ourselves. He KNOWS that we are prideful beings & teaching us humility will be good for us.

    it's our response to "barren/fruitless" seasons in our lives that will determine the harvest we will reap in the future.
    we have to think generationally.... just like abraham did (stars in sky, sand in seashore) ... so our focus wont be so self-centered & so the disease of self pity won't infect us. the Word promises that: "He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much" (Luke 16:10). if we continue to be faithful with the mundane things in life, He promises that we will be entrusted with MUCH. sooo....let us continue to be faithful with the little but continue to dream BIG because the Word says "nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37).
like LL Cool J says: "keep doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well" ;)

ah tick tock you don't stop.....ah tick tock you don't quit!!!! =]


Monday, August 24, 2009

faith & frustration.

faith.

i've been studying about it a lot these past few weeks...digging deeper into the book of romans & hebrews since these books talk about faith a lot. the reason why i've been doing this study is because i need to boost my own faith up. so i decided to shut off "youtwitface" world for a lil' bit to find the time to write and to preach to myself... because i need a fresh perspective regarding faith.

these past few months, i've hit a plateau of some sort. not so much with my relationship with God... but with other things... life in general... with motherhood, dreams, work, ministry, smallgroup, love life, social life..etc. etc. i felt like i wasn't growing much this season and i'm in sort of a funk. i began to get frustrated.

soooo... i decided to open up my old journals from before to remind me of God's promises in my life. BUT instead of being encouraged, i only found myself becoming really sad. inside these journals are sooo many promises, prophetic words & dreams... and yes some of them had come to pass & i praise God for that... but the deepest desires of my heart , the ones i've been praying for for years now, have yet to be answered... and im still waiting for the answers to come. waiting... waiting... waiting. i found that my faith was more shaken after reading those journals...

i asked God the age old questions that humans usually ask Him "why God? when God? what should i do God?" i felt like my hope was slowly disappearing. and as soon as i had asked those questions... thoughts began to creep up in my head "maybe i didn't hear God after all..." or "maybe those dreams are just wishful thinking". the same bait that satan used at the fall of eve is still the same bait he uses now...to doubt what God had said. i knew I HAD TO SHAKE IT OFF.

i ended up closing the journal & i found myself crying to God... then after the "emotional outburst"... i opened up my bible and decided that i was not going to let my emotions & thoughts rule over me. i wanted to see what God had to say to me regarding my situation and decided to read about "mr. faith-man" himself - father abraham. soooo i read and read.. and read... till i saw THIS and my jaw literally dropped: "he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God.. " Rom4:20

impossible i thought. so i looked at other translations to make sure that the NIV wasn't playing a joke on me and sure enough... i got these other verses as well:
  • Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. Rom 4:20 NLT
  • No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, Rom 4:20 AMP
  • But Abraham never doubted or questioned God's promise. His faith made him strong, and he gave all the credit to God. Rom 4:20 CEV
  • He didn't tiptoe around God's promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. Rom 4:20 msg
  • He never doubted that God would keep his promise, and he never stopped believing. He grew stronger in his faith and gave praise to God. Rom 4:20 NCV
NEVER DOUBTED?!?! i was like "whaaaaaat??? never-ever? noooo waaay! is paul for real???". im sure abraham was human just like me... he had emotions, he had feelings, im sure he got frustrated at certain times & he felt that God had abandoned him on certain days. im sure he looked at his journals & as he read about the promise of isaac & being a father to nations and as he looked at the stars in the sky & the sands in the sea shore, there was a part of his heart that was broke when he saw no clear answers or fulfillment of the promises. im sure he wanted to scream out with unbelief, frustration, sadness, anger, abandonment..... all these emotions & more. each one of them valid, each one of them very real.

and YET the bible says he never wavered. mmm hmmm.... how on EARTH does a man never waver in his faith??? clearly he had to have made a choice. and it's obvious that he chose to let his faith in God rule over his emotions, over circumstances, over his life. he counted himself & everything about him dead and let God's word be the final authority in his life. even if his dreams seemed impossible, so unattainable...he still chose to believe - not in the promises, not in the circumstance... but in the God who said He could & would do the impossible.

again...the Word of God answered my heart questions. yes, even in the midst of frustration of unanswered prayers, delayed promises and waiting on God... i, like abraham, must make a choice daily.... to not let anything else lord over me except the TRUTH that He has spoken over my life.... and i must choose to believe that if He was able to answer abraham's deepest heart 's desires...He WILL do the same for me. so there's no need to act out in fear, frustration or unbelief....for He says that He "...is the same yesterday and today and forever. Heb.13:8 NIV" and i choose to be steadfast in faith because He promises me that:
  • Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.Ps37:4 AMP
  • So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. - Gal.6:9
  • Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Heb.10:23 (NIV)
  • Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Eph. 3:20 NKJV
  • For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory. 2Cor1:20 NLT
... once again...His word & abraham's example have opened my eyes to choose to BELIEVE that ♫His promises are true♫ and that they will be fulfilled in my lifetime...coz i KNOW i can depend on Him... i'm very sure of that =)