Friday, February 23, 2007

alone time.

Alone Time

What is it that you do when you are in the middle of life's mosts difficult crisis, when all you feel is sadness or pain? What about if God has blessed you with overwhelming joy, as you witness miracles & answered prayers in your lives? What is our initial reaction? Mine would personally be something like this:

-thank God for good things / complain & murmur, then cry out for bad things
-tell others for good things / complain & murmur, then cry out & ask for prayer if it's bad.
-share the joy / or sulk in my sorrow

Matthew 14 says that after hearing that His beloved cousin John was beheaded & murdered, after the miracle of feeding of the 5,000 men, after healing the sick & preaching the good news, & teaching His closest friends about faith, Jesus with His infinite wisdom and the power to do miracles in a snap of his finger could've just said...let's keep on doing what we're doing & go to the next town....or in Him being fully human...could've also sulked in sorrow mouring for John's death...BUT instead He decided that the wisest thing for Him to do....with all the emotions, the hype, the sadness, the joy....was to leave it all behind and it was time for him to spend alone time with God. He told everyone around him to leave... and walked up a mountain to pray & be with His Father.

As I pondered on that, God was just showing me the importance of spending time alone with Him. If Jesus, the Saviour of the world, took time away from all the ministry work, even took time away from his closest friends, to spend a whole day with just His Father....why shouldn't I do the same? Coz if it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough for me.

And so for this past week, I've been on hibernate. (I'm not isolating myself by the way, coz that can be a very bad thing)....but alone time. Like parents need alone times for themselves without the kids, like boys need to hang with their "boys" and girls need to hang out with their "girls" - kind of alone time. I've been spending more time with Him than with others. That's really funny too coz I am a people-person. I like to constantly surround myself with people because that's therapeuitc for me...if left alone...i can come up with 1001 different scenarios in my head, 1001 questions, 1001 problems, 1001 solutions, 1001 emotions.

But after reading this chapter...I knew that this was what God was calling me to do. So I walked up the mountain....searching for His heart, seeking for His smile, relaxing in His love and wanting to know Him more & more. In continuous silent conversations with Him...I do what I can do to drown out the crowds, the voices, the hype, the pain, the stress, the emotions, the noise, and listen to His still, quiet & gentle voice...and ask Him the questions in my head, and sing to Him songs of praise & joy, and cry to Him because of the pain, and after all that...to be still and rest in His embrace.

And then God showed me...why it was necessary for me to do this...it was after spending a considerable time alone with God, that Jesus had gotten the power from His Father, to have the ability to walk on water in the middle of the storm...and to call on others to do the same.

My prayer is...that after this time alone with Him...God would grace me with His presence, fill me with His power, fulfill me with His love, grant me with His peace, shower me with His joy ... that I may learn not to look at the storms around me and by faith, walk on water...and eventually call others to step out of the boat and do the same.