Tuesday, January 13, 2009

day 3 - breakthough '09

third day - breakthrough '09 - till the walls fall down

had a lot of fun today. as usual...i think God has showered me with abundant, overflowing , supernatural grace...coz today was very good. no craving, no stomach pains, no headaches even. i just had one hunger strike today (when my co-workers gave Christian pollo loco for lunch and as soon as he walked into my office...i could smell everything that was on his plate that i made him finish his lunch right away just so i could throw the plate away.)

a couple of people at church and in the office have asked me why i do what i have been doing these past few days (i had to tell people at work coz they were asking me to buy lunch for them). it's always hard to answer them with the real reason...which is to deny myself "my wants" and replace it with "God wants" (like more time in the Word and in prayer). ofcourse, not everyone buys into that though...coz they don't understand why. and most of the time you don't understand about "God stuff" until you've experienced it yourself.

so today i will attempt to answer that question in a way where people (girls mostly) will understand the point of fasting by looking through the eyes of everyone's favorite vampire - edward cullen *swoon*! (technically my favorite is really carlisle...but for the sake of this blog...let's just say its edward).

okay...so to those that have read the book...(if you haven't then you must!)...we all feel for this vampire who so desperately wants to love this human girl and yet wants to feast on her blood coz it smells soo good to him. everything in him wants to kill her...but he finds a way around those urges. here are some of the steps he took to fight off those urges: by #1 - choosing not to be a monster....and he does so by #2 abstaining from the thoughts of hurting her....and #3 he gets to know her. he was #4 desperate to get into her head. and the more he got to know her...the more he was able to #5 control the urges of drinking her blood...and he eventually #6 falls in love with her.....and he does everything he can to make sure that this girl is safe, pleased & loved. 7. he was strong enough coz he belonged to a family who fasted from the "other lifestyle".

the world reads the books and feels for this vampire who controls his thirst for loves sake...but once we talk about controlling OUR PERSONAL hunger and urges...then the world doesn't get controlling those desires for LOVE's sake.

you can say that i feel a same intensity of love for God and for me, fasting is a form of worship to Him. just like the list above...here is a few reasons why i do what it is that i do.
1. choosing - i choose to not eat, no one is making me do it. i can eat right now and nothing will happen...but i choose to because the bible says i should practice that discipline from time to time.
2.abstaining - is a lifestyle that i have chosen to embrace. to remain pure...to stay away from things that are bad for me...but also once a while...i abstain from things even my body needs...(like food) because it just goes to show that i am more than my body...
3. to know - i choose to abstain because i want to know God more. its not because i want Him to answer my prayers (though that would be wonderful) but more than anything, a deeper sense of knowing Him more is my heart cry.
4. desperation - desperation makes us do crazy things....and im desperate for God. to get into His head, to understand His Word, to pray more...etc. etc. etc.
5.control - what better way to prove to yourself that God is able to give you control over hunger by living off His Bread.
6. love - when you love someone you do whatever it takes (everything in your power) to make that person know that you love them...right? same thing...i do this for love. and in return...i fall even more in love with Him coz i know His heart as i meditate on His word the more time i spend with Him.
7. belonging - to have others fast & pray with you at the same time...is a powerful, beautiful thing. you have the same vision...and want to achieve a greater purpose in life as a family, believing together for greater things.

so yeah...that's to clarify to a lil bit of the "why's" of prayer & fasting. i hope that using "edward" has helped clear out some questions. if not then there's no need for me to clarify anymore. :D i do it just because i want to. i don't question you when you do stuff, do i??? ;)

sooo....day 3 - prayed for proper financial stewardship & breakthrough for individuals and as a church. went up in front to share a prayer/bible word to the whole group. yey! i wasn't scared anymore!!! woohooo! One wall fell down for me...the wall of fear of speaking in public. Yes...God is good! here's a picture of the day 3 meeting.

on to day 4 tomorrow. if you need prayers...just holla at'cha girlfriend :D