Thursday, November 13, 2008

v.s. # 5 - p.m.s.

venting session # 5 - yes i said it - P.M.S. (pre-menstrual syndrome/stress) or P.M.T. (pre-menstrual tension)

those three letters make most women cringe with the thought of it...and men are either terrified or baffled by it. don't you find it amazingly weird that those little things called hormones have the ability to shift your whole personality in one instant? sometimes i wonder why God allowed it to happen.

take me for example. on most days i'm usually emotionally stable, i have a pretty "chill" lifestyle and i love to laugh and take things easy....but once a month...i turn into a whole 'nother person. depending on what the hormone dictates, i can be the softest, most emotional girl on earth or the b*tchiest tiger...or sometimes even both.

a typical PMS day may go like this: i wake up feeling all bloated and fat...maybe some stomach cramps and occasional headaches. i may not want to eat anything coz any smell makes me feel nauseated. but in the middle of the day i find myself eating chocolate chip cookies and a bag of salt and vinegar chips and i still crave some more food after. then after eating all of that...i look at the mirror, have a pity party because i feel fat and i become emotional all over again...

then if someone is brave enough to ask me "why i'm so emotional", i just glare at them ready to pounce at anytime because any other word that is said thereafter by that person will be taken as something that is offensive......even if he/she says the sweetest, nicest things.

doesn't that just freak you out??? i know it freaks me out...and it's happening to me. i think they should rename it to Psychotic Mood Shift or....

* Pass My Shotgun
* Perpetual Munching Spree
* Puffy Mid-Section
* Pimples May Surface
* Provide Me with Sweets
* People Make me Sick
* Pardon My Sobbing
* Pass My Sweatpants
* Pissy Mood Syndrome
* Plainly; Men Suck
* Pack My Stuff
* Potential Murder Suspect
* Pre-Historic Monster Syndrome

women are indeed one of Gods' most beautiful creation. but women who are in "that time" of the month become some what like a picasso painting. beautiful and one of a kind but often misunderstood.

for the men out there...check this video out - PMS survival tips. i hope it helps you out to learn what to do when the monster is unleashed.

for my fellow women, here are tell tale signs to help you understand when we are about to transform from jekyl to hyde:
1. every one else but you has a funky attitude and you can't stand the way they breathe or the way they smile.
2. tylenol/midol/ibuprofen has just become your best friend.
3. chocolate and ice cream has suddenly replaced the top spot as the love of your life.
4. you hate all your clothes. every piece of it except for that soft pajama and that plush robe.
5. you think that the world has plotted a conspiracy against you and you become super paranoid.
6. your defense reflexes are so quick that you could be steven seagal's stunt double.
7. your tear ducts are overflowing and you can't seem to stop it.
8. you feel extraordinarily fat. not just fat...but super duper fat and icky and bloated and mad.
9. nobody understands you. i mean no one at all.
10. a pity party sounds like sooooo much fun.

those are just some tell tale signs. if you have more...then you're more than welcome to share. also ladies, PLEASE do the world a favor and choose from anyone of these FREE signs and stick them on your forehead, on your shirt, on your car window or anywhere for people to see.


make the world a better place and warn others about the coming "wrath" so you can show others how much you care. use these free signs...so that you can always say "you warned them" before you bop them on the head.

long live estrogen power!!!