Friday, February 23, 2007

alone time.

Alone Time

What is it that you do when you are in the middle of life's mosts difficult crisis, when all you feel is sadness or pain? What about if God has blessed you with overwhelming joy, as you witness miracles & answered prayers in your lives? What is our initial reaction? Mine would personally be something like this:

-thank God for good things / complain & murmur, then cry out for bad things
-tell others for good things / complain & murmur, then cry out & ask for prayer if it's bad.
-share the joy / or sulk in my sorrow

Matthew 14 says that after hearing that His beloved cousin John was beheaded & murdered, after the miracle of feeding of the 5,000 men, after healing the sick & preaching the good news, & teaching His closest friends about faith, Jesus with His infinite wisdom and the power to do miracles in a snap of his finger could've just said...let's keep on doing what we're doing & go to the next town....or in Him being fully human...could've also sulked in sorrow mouring for John's death...BUT instead He decided that the wisest thing for Him to do....with all the emotions, the hype, the sadness, the joy....was to leave it all behind and it was time for him to spend alone time with God. He told everyone around him to leave... and walked up a mountain to pray & be with His Father.

As I pondered on that, God was just showing me the importance of spending time alone with Him. If Jesus, the Saviour of the world, took time away from all the ministry work, even took time away from his closest friends, to spend a whole day with just His Father....why shouldn't I do the same? Coz if it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough for me.

And so for this past week, I've been on hibernate. (I'm not isolating myself by the way, coz that can be a very bad thing)....but alone time. Like parents need alone times for themselves without the kids, like boys need to hang with their "boys" and girls need to hang out with their "girls" - kind of alone time. I've been spending more time with Him than with others. That's really funny too coz I am a people-person. I like to constantly surround myself with people because that's therapeuitc for me...if left alone...i can come up with 1001 different scenarios in my head, 1001 questions, 1001 problems, 1001 solutions, 1001 emotions.

But after reading this chapter...I knew that this was what God was calling me to do. So I walked up the mountain....searching for His heart, seeking for His smile, relaxing in His love and wanting to know Him more & more. In continuous silent conversations with Him...I do what I can do to drown out the crowds, the voices, the hype, the pain, the stress, the emotions, the noise, and listen to His still, quiet & gentle voice...and ask Him the questions in my head, and sing to Him songs of praise & joy, and cry to Him because of the pain, and after all be still and rest in His embrace.

And then God showed me...why it was necessary for me to do was after spending a considerable time alone with God, that Jesus had gotten the power from His Father, to have the ability to walk on water in the middle of the storm...and to call on others to do the same.

My prayer is...that after this time alone with Him...God would grace me with His presence, fill me with His power, fulfill me with His love, grant me with His peace, shower me with His joy ... that I may learn not to look at the storms around me and by faith, walk on water...and eventually call others to step out of the boat and do the same.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

mistake,dream guy, madprops.


Big Mistake: After trying my best to stay away from caffeine this past month...i decided to have a double shot espresso yester-night because I knew I was in for a loooong night (driving my mom around, going to church, watching the groovaloos show, then eating a late dinner & then driving back up to the mountains)..i thought i could still handle my usual double-shots...boy was i is now 5:30 a.m. and i've tried everything i could to go to sleep....but to no mind is

Dream Guy:

so after reading the bible, praying, and doing everything i could to try & get some zzzz's...i decided to sit down in front of the PC to try and write something........
instead I ended up doing something totally irrelevant but oh so inspiring - for the past 2 hours, i watched documentaries and music videos of pharrell. yes people...i spend the past 2 hours doing nothing but be utterly amazed how creative, artistic & handsome this enterpreneur is & i'd just like to say one thing before i conclude the first part of my blog......


i really do...if he was a strong christian man he'd actually be my perfect dream guy.

but he isnt...soooooo back to reality.... :(

Mad Props:
Like i said earlier...i spend my yester-night watching The Groovaloos Show. If you haven't gotten the chance to check the show out...i HIGHLY SUGGEST that you do... ASAP!

Shooz & rest of the Groovaloos did such an awesome job in their performance. The show was very entertaining... and fascinating. Beyond just entertaining my spoke to my soul. The music, the cast and their language of dance flowed together so well that i felt like i was part of the show, engaged in the beautiful stories of their lives - the battle people had to fight to run & hold on after their dreams, to face the ghosts of their pasts, to do the impossible, to live and see a miracle...and come out a winner.

Watching the show made me realize that somehow my dreams aren't just big enough yet - coz God is able to do excedingly abundantly more than I can ask or imagine.

Thank you Shooz, Joanie & the rest of the Groovaloos for the wonderful performance and thank you for inspiring me to HOLD ON, DREAM BIG and LIVE FREE.

My words on this blog will not do the show justice...YOU absolutely MUST see it...make time for it. I promise, you will not regret it.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO: to get some zzzzz's....and dream big.....

*maybe one day pharrell will step into the doors of our church building ;)*

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

distress & loving arms.

Distress & Loving Arms

While watching the superbowl last Sunday, Chino hit his head real hard & ended up with a really big bump on the left part of his head…He was crying, hurt & in pain… and his first reaction was to look for Mommy. (as usual...mommy got all nervous & scared).

Now there were many other people in the room to help comfort & pacify him… we even had nurses in the room at that time…I'm not a nurse or a doctor and I surely couldn't do anything to make the pain go away...and Chino knew that…but his natural instinct was to run to safe arms - arms that could give refuge, make him feel protected…make him feel loved. The pain he felt drove him to his Mommy. There's something about running into the arms of someone who you know loves you the most, especially when you are hurting. All I could do I did, I prayed for him, I put ice on his head, and I hugged him till he was pacified and felt that he was much better. I didn't really take the pain away, but I helped him through it…

Somehow being in loving arms does that…it helps pacify us and gives us peace – even if the pain is still there –it reassures you that somehow everything will be okay.

As I was doing my devotions the other day…this circumstance popped into my head as I was reading 2Corinthians 7:9-11a … hopefully this will help you, as it helped me, paint a realistic picture about this verse.

...You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from Him....Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets...And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God?...(msg)

"Let this distress bring you to God..."
DISTRESS is defined as:
1. great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; acute physical or mental suffering; affliction; trouble
2. a state of extreme necessity or misfortune.
3. liability or that which causes pain, suffering, trouble, danger, etc.
4. caused by or indicative of distress or hardship
5. to compel by pain or force of circumstances

"Goaded you closer to God..."

GOADS are:
1. a stick with a pointed or electrically charged end, for driving cattle, oxen, etc.; prod.

2. something that encourages, urges, or drives; a stimulus.
3. to prick or drive with, or as if with, a goad; prod; incite
4. according to, goaded means compelled forcibly
by an outside agency
*word references are from

Do not let painful circumstances drive you away from God or cause you not to trust Him, to let go of convictions, or to lose or waver in faith....let us also not use it as a way of blaming Him for the stupid things we get ourselves into or with whatever life throws at us. 80% of the time - we get "bumps on our heads" because we weren't careful enough to listen to His instructions anyway.

Another thing, when brought into a painful circumstance… there will be other options we can run to - like Chino could have – his aunt was there, nurses were there (which would've made more sense if he ran to them), his friends, mommy' s friends, pastors were there…and they all could've comforted him in a way that would've helped him…but instead he chose his mommy. Sometimes, loneliness, trouble & pain can cause us to run to other "arms". Sometimes those "other arms" make more sense to run to, sometimes it doesn't. Quick fixes will help – but only for a short while. In due time, we will find that we've bumped our heads again…and the 2nd or 3rd time around…it will hurt so much more.

Instead, let us learn to let the pain, the sadness, the distress, the suffering, the affliction to compel us to run to the arms of the One who loves us the most, our Loving Father. In His arms, we are comforted, we are secure, we are loved. Only in Him do we have hope… a future… a destiny… and although the reality of painful circumstances are there – we know that one day…everything will be okay…because we can trust Him. He is faithful to His Word which says He works out everything for the good of those who love Him. Hold steadfastly to Him...because ALL His promises are true.

1 Peter 4:12-13 Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. (msg)

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