Monday, January 29, 2007

i wonder.

i wonder....

why God seems to have opened my heart in ways that I never thought I'd have to face up to before...

why I know I could do so much more with my life...and yet...right now everything seems to be on a stand still...

why i somehow went back to 5 years ago & realized how much i miss having a hand to hold or having to see a smile when you look across the room for no reason at all...or to even just rest securely in someone's arms...and fast forward 5 years after....that the very things you miss are the things you're afraid of...

why i got to this place of partial numbness...

why i have to face the skeletons in my head...

why i have to deal with the scars and watch Him as He heals while dealing with the pain...

why these past few weeks...He seems to be changing my whole perspective about sharing my heart....

why it's hard to trust... even if I know He loves me and wants what's best for me...

why the secret cries of the heart cannot remain a secret for long...

why.

why..

why...

Wondering always puts me back in perspective...

that I have no answers...only He does...

and not only does He know better...

He knows best.

and He delights in me.

He appreciates when I show Him my vulnerability

because He alone gives the Perfect Love

that will cast out all fear...

knowing one day all the why's will have an answer.

so i hold out my hand & I wait for His lead...

although i see no path...i choose to step out...

and I choose to trust.... because He is Perfect Love.


Faith is the bird that sings while it is yet dark...
i will sing with all my might... and wait for the dawn
... because The Light has pierced through the dark clouds.


But the path of the uncompromisingly just and righteous is like the light of dawn,
that shines more and more, brighter and clearer
until it reaches its full strength and glory in the perfect day to be prepared.

[amplified version]proverbs 4:18


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

patience,empathy,love.

patience, empathy & love

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

***Forward from Pastor Dan C.