Thursday, November 16, 2006

the heart of a single mom part 2.


I haven't blogged for quite a while now...ever since my laptop crashed I haven't really been able to sit down long enough in front of the computer and just gaze at the monitor till I get the "feel" of writing...and so I was doing that just now, thinking about what to blog about next...and I decided it would be good to give you guys a glimpse into the lives of single mothers.

I've written several blogs about a lot of random things (i wrote them on my other online journal) but the one of the things that really inspire me is when I write about single moms (all the joys, issues, and all the roller coaster emotions that go along with it). According to, they say that
"There are 19 million single parents in the United States. Fifty-nine percent of American children will live in a single-parent family at least once during their minor years". The church has always been challenged to help single mothers and their children. James 1:27 says that "we should care for widows and orphans."

John 4:35 says:
"I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields, coz they are ripe for harvest." Somehow, I'd like to be able to help in opening the world's eyes to see single mom's in a different light. I pray that through these blogs, people will open their eyes and see that they need not go far to help the fatherless & the orphans, coz they are everywhere. Single moms & their children need all the love and the support we can get. If you know a single mom - reach out to them - a phone call, a prayer, cooking them a dish or offering to take them & their children out will do wonders...coz the stress of raising a child alone is harder than you think.

If you are a single mom and you're reading this...I hope these blogs will help open your eyes to motivate you, encourage you, and help you embrace the beauty of being a single mother. No other job in the world is harder than being the lone bread-maker & home-maker at the same time. Hey, like I always say - we get to enjoy having the best of both worlds ;) Once again, to single parents: you are my heroes.

Ok...on with the blog....


I'd like to begin with the classic example of a single mom in the Bible - Hagar .

Genesis 16:3-4 "He slept with Hagar, and she conceived (NIV)..Later, when Hagar knew she was going to have a baby, she became proud and was hateful..."(CEV)

No matter how you became a single mother - whether it was getting pregnant out of wedlock, through divorce, or a death of a spouse - we all have to learn to deal with issues that face being a single mother. We women weren't designed to raise children on our own. And when it does happen to us, we somehow teach ourselves to "toughen up" because the situation calls for it. Hagar - when she learned she was going to have a baby, somehow found it in her heart to become proud & hateful...towards her mistress Sarai & to the father of her child - Abraham.

Like her, we single moms have to make sure to check our hearts and see if there is any thing in us that has caused us to "harden our hearts" and become proud, hateful and unforgiving. Despite the pain we've been through, it's never an excuse to be bitter and resentful against our child's father, against ourself, our children and most especially against God. Like the saying goes "We teach what we know but we impart who we are." Let us remember that our children are watching us, and if we continually gripe about our situations or complain in front of them about their "so-called absentee-dads", we're teaching our kids to learn not to be forgiving as well as teaching them to be ungrateful about life in general.

As hard as it may be in this given situation - learn to count your blessings and not your problems or your lack. I know, it's easier said than done. Trust me, I know what it feels like when all you can do is just cry coz problems are so overwhelming and there's no one to share it to but yourself. That happens. Let the pain out. Cry it all out - Breathe after - and learn to Live & enjoy life. We were created for so much more than just being anxious because of unpaid bills.

Instead of seeing the lack - look at the blessings and enjoy them. During bad times - I try hard to train myself to see that I am blessed. Blessed to have a son who loves me so much. Blessed to have a roof over my head. Blessed to be able to have family & friends who love me. Blessed to have a church family that supports me. My problems are still there, but my focus is on more positive things, because dwelling on past hurts & negative things won't get me anywhere. In the process, I'm teaching my son lessons that he will value in life as he gets older.

Mothers, let us be the good example that our children need to see. We are all they have. Let us not take that for granted. Let us not be resentful & bitter moms. Instead let us be the extraordinary moms who, although are raising children by ourselves, continue to count it all joy even when trials come. Because God has given us hope in Jesus and He's given us the best gift in the world - our kids. They deserve to be raised in healthy, happy homes that are full of love.