Tuesday, May 30, 2006

in you.

written on May 30, 2006 @3:35PM

I feel so numb,

it's like i'm barely breathing

and i'm drowning in my tears.

My heart grieves.

I long for an answer,

a touch, an embrace.

To hear Your voice say "it's gonna be ok".

For someone who has faced numerous battles

and taught herself to be strong,

I suddenly finds myself backed in a corner,

no where to go, no where to run.

That vulnerable feeling that I despise the most.

Circumstances that's supposed to teach me to be strong

is making me feel so weak.

As the wind pushes and tosses me from side to side,

I ask You..."God are You asleep?"

"do You not see?"

and You say "oh you of little faith.."

with one word can't circumstances change in a second?

I simply bow down and worship and ask

that you give me Your joy

for it is my strength.

My strength to run, to laugh, to live.

To know that my hope is in You.

written by:

Nehemiah 8:10b "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength"

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

our careful unbelief

. . do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on —Matthew 6:25

Jesus summed up commonsense carefulness in the life of a disciple as unbelief. If we have received the Spirit of God, He will squeeze right through our lives, as if to ask, "Now where do I come into this relationship, this vacation you have planned, or these new books you want to read?" And He always presses the point until we learn to make Him our first consideration. Whenever we put other things first, there is confusion.

". . . do not worry about your life . . . ." Don’t take the pressure of your provision upon yourself. It is not only wrong to worry, it is unbelief; worrying means we do not believe that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything but those details that worry us. Have you ever noticed what Jesus said would choke the Word He puts in us? Is it the devil? No— "the cares of this world" Mat. 13:22. It is always our little worries. We say, "I will not trust when I cannot see"— and that is where unbelief begins. The only cure for unbelief is obedience to the Spirit.

The greatest word of Jesus to His disciples is abandon.

-Oswald Chambers (my utmost for his highest)

"Prov: 3:5 Teach me to trust in you with all of my heart and not to lean on my own understanding..."